Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but then the dinosaur chased you into the lake.

I wish I had a mouse.

We are all out of mice today, but here is a nice 40-pound Capybara, a really big South American rodent.

I wish I had an Airstream trailer in a nice old-fashioned trailer park.


Sylkat

Granted, but all your trailer park neighbors are extremely flatulent.

I wish I had a house by the ocean.

Granted. You get a house a mile from the ocean that is already occupied by a stereotypical hillbilly couple with 27 children, and they refuse to move out.

I wish I had enough money to buy every single object for sale in a Walmart.

Granted but you were not allowed to exit Wallmart because all of the stock had been contaminated with radiation.

I wish i could see the movie Adam again.

You get to see your movie, but it is the version that is dubbed in Russian, and the footnotes are in Koine Greek.

I wish that I had a million dollars.


Sylkat

Granted, but you’re not the only one with that wish, and it’s granted to all of them, too. So many dollars are printed their value plunges into near-nothingness. Welcome to hyperinflation! Enjoy burning your notes to heat yourself in winter, as they yield more heat than the firewood you could buy with them

I wish I could hunt a dinosaur.

Granted but you only had a peice of string and a few match sticks to hunt with.

I wish i were untouchable.

Granted, but you can’t touch anything, either. You starve.

I wish I could control seismic waves with my mind.

You can.

And now they know that YOU are the one causing all of those earthquakes......you are in SO much trouble!

I wish I had a solar water heater!


Sylkat

Granted. It takes all day to heat water in it, rendering the device impractical.

I wish I had a patent on the circle.

Granted, but you can't afford the lawyers needed in order to successfully sue patent violators

I wish I had a patent on patents

Here is your patent....now we probably will not be hearing from you very much in future, since you and your attorneys will be spending all your time in court......

I wish I had one of those miniature pigs for a pet.


Sylkat

Granted. I don't even have to corrupt this - you've never owned pigs, have you?

I wish that I could see Sylkat with the pet pig the moment that Sylkat realizes what a terrible mistake that wish was

B-b-but they look so cute!

I shall grant your wish as soon as I get my tiny, cute little piglet!

You can help me train him to use the litter box!


Sylkat

P.S.

I wish that Canaspie gets a little pig as soon as I get mine!


Sylkat

I hate you so, so much.

And as for training him to use the litter box...good luck with that.

And to corrupt your wish, as soon as I get mine, I'm giving him to you. And did I mention that yours is female before?

I wish to never, ever, have to end up dealing with one of these pigs myself