Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but his name is Dexter Morgan....well, he IS very good-looking....


I wish I could ride a bicycle.


Sylkat

Granted however you are glued to your bicycle and have to ride with it forever.
I wish I could sing

The world has its own written dynasty and I m infinitely poor right now or so it seems.. so does the good Shakespeare read off many of his Tudor roses at a passing glance or do scrooges find out the meaning of humbug.? Do I predict a riot? well, wishing wells don't seem to hold the same glamour now do they.

Find the bounty hunter on here and that'll make me happy before the land dries up and we all die of plague related causes

So, beppie can sing now but is abysmally tone deaf - and also cannot stop singing everything beppie wants to say.

I wish I could sing well.

Yes granted but somehow the frequency is such that no one can hear it, including yourself. Only rats can hear and they all start following you everywhere like the Pied Piper.

I wish there were lovely random prizes available on the thread. Such as a week in a coastal hotel in a warm, tropical spot.

Granted, you are randomly awarded lovelies, the same kind as in the aquarium corruption I mentioned earlier. Of course, this is both deleterious in many ways and illegal in many countries and municipalities. Plus, even when and where that's not so much of an issue, the lovelies still get jealous of each other.

I wish I had an endless supply of hard lemonade that would not make me too drunk, because this is rather tasty.

Granted. You wake up in a tightly enclosed space. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can make out your complete surrounded by cases and cases of Mike's Hard Lemonade. With the grin of eternal happiness on you face, you go to reach a bottle but you cannot move your hand more than a few inches. To your horror, you realize you've been (turn on the echo chamber) ENTOMBED BY CASES AND CASES OF MIKE'S HARD LEMONADE-nade-nade-ade-ade-a.

I wish the cashiers at work would make up their mind if a salad costs $1.50, $2.00, or $2.50. Every day it's different, and I always get the same thing.

Granted. They decided to add two anchovies to the salad and charge a regular rate of five dollars.

I wish to lose twenty pounds without having to go on any nasty diet.

Granted. Hmm. How much does a leg weigh? Get out the old bone saw, and wa-la! Oh. Sorry. That was twenty five pounds. You'll get a refund as soon as you fill out some forms.

I wish everybody's internet speed was doubled.

I love this thread.... so much.

Granted, but when you requested "LAN speed" the techs heard "land speed". Your router now has wheels on it. That's all. (3 wheels, like a Reliant Robin actually) Seeing as the land speed of the average router was 0 previously, a doubling of that speed results in a net gain of 0.

I wish this caffeine would take effect faster.

Granted, but it will take effect all at once, so fast that your mind will see everything as it really is... and the result will be madness (rather like the Total Perspective Vortex)

I wish I had a little fluffy kitten.

Granted.....that cup of tea you are drinking (and wondering about the odd taste) was made by dipping the tea bags into fresh, hot coffee.


I wish for a Tiny Home.


Sylkat

Wish granted. Is a Roach Motel tiny enough for you? Sylkat checks in, but she doesn't check out.

I wish my body did not feel the effects of high humidity.

Granted. You enter a coma whenever the humidity is sufficiently high.

I wish I was a dragon with opposable thumbs.

Granted. Then because dragons happen to be my special subject, you are captured as my pet. Mhwa ha ha . . .

Now I wish I had a pet dragon (non-fire breathing type).

Granted. This is the most awesome and friendly dragon anyone could have. It lets you sit on its back when it flies. It chases away people that come to the door trying to sell you stuff. You don't go bankrupt feeding it. But there is one little hiccup. The neighbors really need you to keep on top of the pooper scooping. And you don't want to know about the damage one of those turds can cause when dropped from an airborne dragon. Roofs, gardens, cars, public swimming pools. It makes one shudder.

I wish I could speak and understand Japanese so I could watch anime without subtitles or English dubbing.