Corrupt A Wish

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Granted - instant Japanese but now you can no longer recall any English words you ever knew.

I wish I could safely turn invisible at will.

私は英語が話せません。 違いはありません。

Granted. You can now turn invisible at Will. So if you are facing Will Smith for instance.... But if you turn away, you are once again visible.

I wish Goosebumps was still on television.

Goosebumps can be arranged...just go stand in the bathtub and pour a large pitcher of ice water over yourself!

I want a Yurt.


Sylkat

Wish granted. Unfortunately you must share your Yurt with the Octomom and her eight children.

I wish I was taller.

Wish granted. You now ten times taller than you were before.(My guess is around 40' to 50' tall) Like in the fairy tales the townsfolk chase you out and now you are forced to lie in seclusion for the rest of your days.
I wish I could teleport anywhere of my free will.(Not the person Will)

Wish granted, but you suddenly appear in the front yard of Prince William and Duchess Katherine....the Beefeaters chase you for miles!

I wish I had an Airstream.


Sylkat

Oh that would be so nice! Traveling around, home being where every you park. Oh to think...
GRANTED. I seriously am at a loss what could go wrong. Wait. You didn't say anything about tires, or something to pull it out of the hot Sahara desert sun, which is where it is parked. Please be careful you do not lean against it. Did I mention it is sunk in the sand about a quarter of the way up? So you cannot open the door to get in.

A nice cold glass of ice water would be nice, but I wish for a chilled glass of vanilla coconut milk.

Wish granted, your glass of vanilla coconut milk has been chilled to absolute zero, when you touch it, all molecular activity ceases, starting a chain reaction that destroys us all!

I wish I were a being of pure energy, with no boundaries.

Oh, my.

Wishing for "no boundaries" in a wish-corruption thread is tantamount to having a deathwish. That is an exceedingly dangerous thing to do. Surely you know this.

Not afraid?
You will be. You... will... be.

Being of pure energy:
Granted, you are a neurotic greyhound on ecstasy and speed-infused cocaine. And you have just finished supping on a dinner of septuple-shot caramel apple machiatos, Krispy-Kreme donuts, cotton candy, pixie-stix, fried bacon-wrapped Snickers bars, Mountain Dew and Four Loko. The tip of your tail by itself could power Tokyo for a year. You are doing everything at relativistic speeds; and by relativistic, we mean multiples, not fractions, of C. You are moving so fast, you are afraid you may have misplaced your dimension. You just passed the Enterprise in a wormhole and hung a sharp left at Vega. Neutrinos are crying and begging you to slow down. Your motion produces singularities which spawn parallel universes. You have accelerated your way back to the dawn of time, and the rest of us are merely living in your temporal causality loop.

No boundaries:
The speed has granted you miraculous human speech-ability. And the ecstasy has made you extremely agreeable. You cannot turn anybody down for anything...
There is an army of canines and other animals and organisms following after you everywhere for procreational purposes.
You have just bought several famous bridges.
The prince from Nigeria finally has a reliable fence for all the money he must rescue from his country.
Yoda is counting on you to successfully balance the Force.
Atlas just said, "here, hold this".
Bill Gates and Jullian Assange both want you to do their taxes.
And God would like you to sort any particles affected by entropy in the universe into neat little piles, differentiated by quantum state.

Enjoy.

I wish I could know what happened to me after I saw everything in the total perspective vortex.

Granted, but now that you could know by simply thinking about it, you have become so terrified by the idea that you never will.

I wish I had less facial hair.

Granted. No more hair on your face OR top of your head - ever again.

It has all moved to other parts of your body, especially your feet, which now resemble a hobbit's - so you can no longer wear any shoes.

I wish we could all go on a special WP world cruise on the beautiful new Titanic II cruise liner. Without it sinking!

Granted. It is seriously overbooked and there is no room to even breathe.

I wish i was never born

Granted, but the void left by your absence would resonate across time and space, affecting the world in ways I cannot even imagine or possibly know. The very least would be envirozentinel's wish would have been granted my some long winded butterfly brained oaf like me, instead of your short and elegant resolution, and I would not have laughed as much.

I wish I had a way to transcribe my dreams and thoughts while I sleep.

Granted...unfortunately your dreams are now available on YouTunes, and have become VERY popular!

I want a Log Cabin.


Sylkat

Granted, unfortunately it located in a wild fire prone area.

I wish I had teleportation machine

Granted. You had one but it ceased functioning on the slopes of Mt Etna during an eruption and was in a lava path...you had to run away at top speed... it was good while it lasted!

I wish I could instantaneously be twenty years younger!