Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, unfortunately at every instance you gain another 20 years. You suffer the horror of pre-birth........



I wish I could fly through the winds of jupiter

Granted, but you don't get to wear a spacesuit, so good luck breathing!

I wish we found a foolproof method to stop people from forgetting to post wishes

Granted. People no longer forget to post wishes here. Now they just can't be bothered – wilfully.

Like this.

Banned for purposely not posting a wish!


I wish we could see what one another really looked like by pressing a button.

Granted, but actually, this is the Matrix, so the first time you look at what someone really looks like, you go crazy.

I wish there was a foolproof method to see what the "real" reality was, without any doubts.

Granted. Believe me, I would really look forward to that as well, but darn you sub-atomic universe ... you find yourself on the Maury Povich Show.
"Ok. When we come back, will find out if this reality we are experiencing really is reality, some ILM effect, or if physicsnut42's DNA is a match for this baby we found wandering around back stage!"
After the commercial break, we find out that the DNA is not a match, and the reality is not from ILM, but we are disappointed because it looks pretty much like the Maury Povich Show, only with much better light, and free Higgs Boson Strawberry Banana Punch (contains no high fructose corn syrup). I hope you like Strawberry Banana. Maury does, at least in my reality he does.

I wish I had not been distracted (again - second time today), because now I'll have to wait two hours for the next showing of Man of Steel.

Darn. It.

I think it will be like The Iron Giant, but with less rust. ha. ha. ha.
(no exclamation marks. it does not deserve exclamation marks)

Granted. You make the next showing of Man of Steel early. You have your favorite movie treats and a great seat. You really enjoy the film and leave in a happy mood.

However, later, you find out that, as part of a promotion, everyone at the very next showing received a free $1000 gift certificate to your favorite online store. Had you been distracted, you would have been at the prize winning showing instead.

I wish I had a brand new shiny dollar.

Granted. But you are thirsty and the vending machine does not accept dollar coins.

I wish to dim bright lights on demand.

Granted... Although as an unintended consequence, it also dims your IQ.

I wish I had the power of alchemy.

Granted but the excess energy is drained from your body, and after a while leaves you weakened and unable to move.

I wish I had x-ray vision so I could find things that I misplace, more easily.

Granted.

But now everyone looks like a skeleton to you.


I wish I had a solar-powered refrigerator.


Sylkat

Granted. Wait. Darn it! You probably meant solar powered as in powered by light! Oh there has been a little booboo at the wish factor because you refrigerator was, yes was, powered by it's own little solar nuclear reaction. The refrigerator melted and vaporized, and the power source left few scorched blemishes in your kitchen. Just minor burns and flames. You'll be fine as long you don't have a gas stove. oops.

I wish I had the ice cream that had been in your freezer.

Granted, but it's gasoline flavor plus, has bad freezer burn ruining its texture.

I wish I owned an ice cream parlor.

Granted, you own the parlor, but not the behind-the-counter space; which, of course, is where all the ice cream is.

Yes, I often find that freezer burn ruins the texture of my confectionery gasoline.

I wish these ADD-ish symptoms were not in overdrive today... why is the time gone?

Granted, you are now a New Age meditation practitioner who is sooooooo mellow, most people think that you are sleepwalking!

I wish that I had a propane skillet.


Sylkat