Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. Oh for crying out loud! Can't those wish granting guys do anything right? Well it is what it is. You asked for a propane skillet. For some reason the wish granting team thought you meant a skillet fish. Seriously? So now you have a very, um, nice skillet fish, filled with propane. If you cook it, it will and does explode. Nothing serious. Just don't be with within 13 feet of it. You'll be fine.



I wish I had robot vacuum to keep my floors clean of dog hair.

Granted; unfortunately, the Deceptacons have smuggled themselves to Earth disguised as the latest batch of Roombas to ship from the factory, so your dog-hair problem disappears when your dog flees the town as all-out war breaks out in your living room between the Transformers. You no longer have a couch problem either, as your sofa took a rocket to the leg-rest. Now you wish your robots would tidy up those unsightly smoldering craters, but such does not seem to be their ilk.

I wish I had another day off tomorrow.

Granted, but by 'off' the wish granting people assumed you meant a really, really strange and odd day.

So tomorrow, everyone at your work place is wearing stripes, and you have to do your job while hopping on one foot. Also, the speakers at work are playing Lawrence Welk and Slim Whitman records all day.

I wish I could choose an entertainer to do a show just for me and my guests, for free.

Greetings everybody,

On behalf of the Genie Make a Wish service, I would like to assure you that we take your wishes seriously. We have just completed a major overhaul of the GMAW, and are pleased to be introducing a new and more modern streamlined wish experience, one that will leave you stunned, breathless, and we frankly think little faint from a lack of oxygen. You will be that overwhelmed.

Your wish, my friend is granted. You may choose absolutely any entertainer you desire to perform just for you and your very special guest, and to your specifications, he, she, they, we frankly don't care cause it's all about your satisfaction, they will perform in the style of Lawrence Welk and/or Slim Whitman. Again, one or both! It doesn't matter to us. You enjoy.

I want to make my own special wish that all wishes from here on out provides just what you want and desire.

b-bye

Granted, but since quite a few of us wished to own the Koh-I-Noor, the Make-A-Wish Genies decided to toss it, and us, into a large cage and let us fight for it.

Thank you SO much, say all of us in the hospital Casualty Ward!

I want a lily pond with koi.


Sylkat

Granted a giant koi pond has been placed under your house, but unfortunately it has destroyed the foundation which causes your home to collapse.
I wish for a beach that I owned privately.

Granted. the water next to it is badly polluted and is unfit for even touching.

I wish to stop rain in mid air.

Granted, however the altitude at which it stops is just a few inches beneath your chin, and while everyone was wondering what in the heck was going on with the rain, you and everyone taller than you drowned.

I wish for more coffee. In fact, I think I'll go get some!

How very practical. Wish granted. However, as coffee is now the only nourishment you are allowed to ingest, your metabolic rate increases which accelerates your aging to dog years.

I wish to be chosen as the next Bond girl.

Granted! That is you, in the shawl.



I wish I was in Dixie, hooray, hooray... well, no, not really. I just think this is the only way to stop that song from being an ear-worm whenever I visit this thread.

Granted. You're a Dixie Chick, and this is what you're doing with your life now.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhSDaryFMz4[/youtube]
(Actually, I don't mind their music. Get that earworm into ya. )


I wish that North and South Korea would unite again, as a democratic country under South Korean leadership.

Granted..but what are we going to do with that bad-tempered baby dictator?


I wish that I had a candelabra.


Sylkat

Granted! You now also have a Phantom.

I wish the weather would always stay just like it is right now at my place.

Dear Theta, you just gave me a masked guy who wears purple Spandex?

Right.

I'll wish for a garage conversion so that he has a place to live.....I need my space.

Sylkat

Granted! Unfortunately, the Phantom will only live wherever the candelabra lives, because he and I both apparently mistook it for a chandelier

I wish Sylkat were more moved by Phantoms, I was rather pleased with myself for that corruption.

Granting Theta's wish for the weather to be the same. It's because the Phantom has moved back to Theta's place, and is now perched in a giant hamster wheel on the roof. Pedaling night and day, the poor Phantom sings while making it snow, rain, sleet, hot, or cool, as Theta wishes.

The neighbors complain about the noise and Theta soon contemplates moving. What will become of the Phantom? (I was impressed.)

I wish to time travel back to see the original Phantom, Michael Crawford. (I originally went and there was an understudy.)