Questions only!

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Why did you call it "ice hockey" instead of just "hockey"?

Why do you assume that floor hockey isn't a real sport?

Why are winter sports played in May?

Why are people on about winter sports in May? Why don't we just be seasonal and talk about them during fall/winter? And why do I suddenly feel cold writing this? Brrr...?

Why should a sport as great as hockey be limited to winter when an obvious summer sport such as football plays it's championship in February?

Why is hockey even considered a sport - isn't it just semi-controlled mayhem?

Don't you know that apart from the barely (not even semi) controlled mayhem, it is an incredibly demanding sport?

What do they eat to fuel themselves up before the match?

Do they also get shown yellow or maybe even red cards if the mayhem is excessive?

Do you not know that typical hockey training food (at least in my league) is chicken wings or pizza, followed by beer?
And have you not seen the penalty box, where you are sent for infrigements of the rules?
And can I take this opportunity to tell you about a hockey tour I went on once, where if you were sent to the penalty box you were given a shot of Jaegermeister. Even if it was 10 in the morning?

Did you not know, that on hockey tours, time is always measured by the time zone where it's 4:00 PM and hence an appropriate time for Jaegermeister shots?

Indeed, but do you not know that while after two shots at 10am my bravery may improve, it does nothing for my coordination and balance

Do you know how much more entertaining hockey would be if all the players were given two shots right before the start of every game?

Didn't you know most players get two shots? (they're just cortisone)

On a diet of pizza, beer and cortisone, how do they manage to function?

Have you ever seen a hockey "game"?

What I don't understand is why everybody doesn't play?