Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You can't control your own strength and destroy everything you touch.

I wish to safely drive on water.

Wish Granted, says the Wish Fairy Of Time Travel.....

You suddenly find yourself behind the wheel of an amphibious vehicle, dropping off soldiers at the Battle Of Normandy; watch those bullets, now!


I wish I had a chocolate malt, with an extra scoop of vanilla ice cream, and a pot of hot tea.
And a very good book.


Sylkat

Granted, your good book is soaked in hot tea and malt with an extra scoop of vanilla ice cream.

I wish I was a babe magnet.

Granted by the British Fantasy Fairy....

Female Daleks from miles around are irresistibly drawn to you, and will never leave your side.

I wish that I had a frog pond.


Sylkat

INFATUATE!



Granted Sylkat, however all the frogs living in the pond are Coqui frogs from Puerto Rico, and it's so loud at night that your nearby house is basically uninhabitable.

I wish I had what i_wanna_blue asked for, only working.

Some people ask for crazy things....

You do indeed get a babe magnet. It functions extremely well.
Babies from miles away come flying towards you, attracted by the powerful effect of the babe magnet.
Then you get arrested for countless charges of child kidnap.

I wish that I was as good at art as everybody else on Deviant Art seems to be.

Granted.
4chaners take over devianart and devianart is now made of drawings that were made as a joke

People that take drawing seriously move on to a newer website which happens to have a more updated colourful look instead of da´s current sober tonalities


I wish shipping fees werent so high on most shops online.

Granted.

All shipping fees are completely eliminated, but the online companies use it as an excuse to triple their prices.

I wish candy corn counted as a vegetable.

Redundant wish is granted, because:

Candy corn IS a vegetable.....it is corn, after all!

You are just mad about the mess you had to clean when you put candy corn in your corn popper!

I wish the buses ran more frequently than once an hour on Sundays.


Sylkat

Granted. They now run every minute, but they no longer run on the route you are taking. In fact only one route is being run and it is the one furthest away from you.

I wish NTs had bubbles over their heads displaying that they are really thinking.

Granted, but now I have to walk around all day with my eyes closed, because I cannot stand the hostility, duplicity, depravity, and pettiness!

And YOU are going to have to come up with the $5,000 for a seeing-eye dog for me.

I prefer a Black Labrador, by the way.


I wish for a lap pool in my back yard.


Sylkat

Granted.

You now have a wonderful pool. It fits perfectly in your lap, where all the squirrels come for a dip.

I wish I could stop myself after one full pot of coffee instead of brewing a new pot almost involuntarily.

Granted. The pot explodes on you once it is finished making it impossible to brew a second pot.

i wish to squeeze the charmin.

Granted. You turn into this bloke, and now regularly terrify small children :



I wish that I could believe it's not butter.

You suddenly experience a dramatic supernatural vision of the Charming Fairy, giving you special permission from the Toilet Paper Fairy Queen.

I wish for a nice breakfast.....now, what shall I have?


Sylkat.

Granted.

Your eggs and toast suddenly come to life and say pleasant things to you to point of becoming annoying.

I wish the government paid for required training courses in advance instead of using a reimbursement method.