Corrupt A Wish

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Wish granted.

However, the local Oompa Loompa Tribe is opening a casino next door to your new property.

A twenty-four hour, three hundred sixty-five day a year casino.

And the child care center is right beside your fence.

And at midnight, fireworks are set off.

I rather wish for Angel Hair Pasta with Alfredo Sauce.

And grated Parmesan and Romano to top it with.


Sylkat

Fair enough. Unfortunately, angel hair is very similar to human hair. Yummy yum ?

I wish that spammers and scammers would all spontaneously combust.

Having just had my email hacked by professional spammers, and still being unable to get back into it, I don't have the heart to truly corrupt that last wish.

But, once all the scammers and spammers spontaneously combust, there is a mad rush as everyone brings marshmallows, tofu dogs and hot dogs, to roast over the bonfire. The Girl and Boy Scouts now have nothing to eat!

I wish I could snap my fingers and float off into bed when sleepy and the covers would magically tuck me in.

Wish Granted, says the Tooth Fairy, but she is getting a little old and forgetful, and winds up taking you on her nightly rounds and leaving you behind a few times, instead of money, when she is collecting teeth.

The Fairy of Finding Lost Things has to go get you each time.

I wish I had a fern garden.


Sylkat

Granted you get a beautiful, very dense, very big, fern garden. unfortunately it's so big and dense you get lost in it and can't find a way out.

i wish i was an athlete.

Granted. While playing your sport, you get a concussion and your brain is damaged for life.

I wish windows were self cleaning.

Wish granted;
If you just remove the glass, you will not have to worry about cleaning them.

And the view will be superb.

I wish someone would cover the Mt. Rushmore heads with trees and bushes and grass.....that 'Sculpture' is hideous!


Sylkat

Granted. But the patriotic people of the USA are so devastated by the loss of one of their national icons that they petition for and win federally funded sculptures, identical to the original, in every state. The ones that don't have suitable mountains settle for four story concrete monstrosities in their stead.

I wish my husband looked like the guy who plays 'the Hood'/Green Arrow in the TV show 'Arrow' - including the six-pack torso and the athletic prowess. (hubba hubba)

Granted, but unfortunately, he becomes a handsome idiot, sort of like Brad Pitt in 'Burn After Reading'!

I wish I had a Hot Fudge Sundae.

And a pot of hot tea.

Sylkat

Granted. Your hot fudge sundae is very hot since it contains birds eye chillies and you can't really enjoy it. And you throw away your tea because it only makes the burning sensation in your mouth worst.

I wish I had really good social skills.

Aaaaagh!

You have turned into Kelly Ripa!

THAT is why people need to be very careful what they wish for!

I wish that every cheerful blonde on T.V. got laryngitis for a month.


Sylkat

Granted. They are replaced with the super annoying loud salespeople found on infomercials and they then use their time to peddle their stuff.

I wish to instantly know how to play the violin perfectly and only play appealing music, along with me deciding when and when not to play the music.

CONGRATULATIONS!! Your wish has been granted.
Dogs everywhere find your music very appealing indeed, and come from miles around to hear you play perfectly, every time you decide to do so.
Every time you decide to not play, they howl in frustration, waiting for you to start up again.

I wish I had healthy hair, on my head, as beautiful as my daughter's (and of course absolutely nothing bad happens to her!!)

The Fairy of Follicular Gifting grants your wish.

Since she notices that you did not specify WHERE on your head you wanted this hair, she giggles as you rage and rant about the massive amounts of bright red hair sprouting from your ears and nose!

I wish for a new fence.

Sylkat

Granted. It's 20 feet tall, wraps around all the sides of your property, it's electrified, and has barbed wire. The gate is locked and can only be opened from the outside.

I wish the gas price would drop down to what it was 20 years ago

Happy to grant that one!! !

But you develop some sort of mysterious paranoia about driving so can no longer get into any vehicle. You get around by being chauffeured on the back of an over sized tricycle.
But the rest of civilization thanks you for your sacrifice.

I wish I was debt free.