Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but the price drop only applies if you are purchasing less than 1 gallon of gas. If you need to purchase more than 1 gallon of gas, you will have to pay 5 times as much money per gallon than you would pay if the wish did not come into effect.

I wish I could own every Green Day album.

Granted. They all belonged to BlackSabre47, who sells them to you to get herself out of debt.

But now her precious heart is torn by being apart from her beloved Green Day albums. And you're flat broke.

I wish I could compose erhu music.

Very nicely done!!

You can now compose beautiful erhu music, but no matter who tries to play it, they are so moved by the beauty of your compositions, that that their hands tremble with emotion, and their erhu consequently sounds like crap. So your compositions never get played in a way that honours your stunning creation.

I wish my gardens were beautiful and that I had a gardener to maintain them.

Granted ! You now have a breathtakingly gorgeous bosai garden which is 3-inches by 6-inches in size.
You also have a full-time gardner to tend to it.... whose wages come out of your own pocket.
Nice work if you can get it !

I wish that I got broadband speeds as fast as that girl from the Piracy adverts !

Granted. Hackers then easily seize control of your computer to send out millions of spam messages.

I wish glass was not fragile.

Your wish is granted.... but only when it comes to metaphorical glass.
This means that all over the world, people in glass houses begin to feel quite at liberty to throw stones.... which results in a hopelessly uncontrollable epidemic of rampant hypocrisy among the general masses.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. There is peace in every corner of the world. No violence, no disagreements. No love, no passion, no hate, no inspiration, no interest, no greed, no emotion of any kind. We walk around like emotional zombies. Then aliens come here and tell us to go jump off a cliff and we all do.

I wish my kids loved my cooking and never complained about it.

Granted. They love your cooking so much that you get no free time at all as they demand all kinds of meals, snacks, desserts, cookies and the rest nonstop. They get fat but you become virtually anorexic from running around in the kitchen all day and night.

I wish I could control the force of gravity.

Granted but you will lose in the winning game.

I wish I could find my marbles.

Granted. You find them by stepping on them on the floor and slip and fall.

I wish pi was a rational number.

Granted. All pie has turned into rational numbers. Bakeries, grocery stores and Wal-Mart are all furious with you. National Pie Day will never be the same . . . Wait a minute, you meant in math didn't you? Oops.

I wish for a pet Chinese dragon (As they don't breath fire and are capable of changing size so that they can be trained to use a regular litter box).

Granted.

But yours is a cranky little brat, and is so frustrated that he cannot spit fire, that when he finds Babybird's marbles, he spits them at you.




I wish I could paint lovely pictures.


Sylkat

Granted - you can paint the words "lovely pictures" in all beautiful coloured calligraphy and art galleries all over the world pay you royalties to use copies, together with arrows, to direct folk to their galleries.


I wish I had a magic carpet to travel where I want.

Granted.

I wish I had envirozentinel's magic carpet to travel where I want.

Granted, but Envirozentinel hates to loan out that carpet, so sneakily stashes some moth eggs into it when it is rolled up, between journeys.

They hatch, and munch on the woolen fibers, and when you are soaring over a lovely forest, the rug falls to pieces.

You just fall.

Hundreds of squirrels and birds and foxes and bears do NOT appreciate you crashing into their home, and demonstrate their displeasure by chasing you out of the woods, biting and clawing.

I wish that I had a talking parrot.


Sylkat

Granted but oh dear, one of the bad fairies must have taught it, as it has a very colourful vocabulary of swear words and all your neighbours think it's you and they avoid you as they think you've gone crazy.

I wish for a lovely kitten that stays a cute and cuddly kitten always rather than becoming a big fat greedy cat.