Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but for some unknown reason the Banshee is awake both night and day, and her voice sounds like an amplified leaf blower.

I wish I was asleep already.

Granted.

You are just dreaming this.

I wish I had a big bowl of Cheddar Cheese Potato Soup.


Sylkat

Granted. But your bowl is very big, about the size of a very large pot, and you have to eat it all. Good luck with that.

I wish I wasn't so shy.

Alcohol!! !!

But now there's photographic evidence of your newfound sense of not being shy, and it's on the Internet.
Some of them involve a pineapple, a sheep and a sombrero that doesn't quite conceal your dignity.

Stay classy.

I wish I could create a successful blog.

Granted. It gets go many hits that the web server crashes. After that the paparazzi goes after you and you will no longer have any privacy.

I wish to eat my favorite food and not gain weight.

Granted. You didn't specify your favourite food, so the genie provides you with a limitless lifetime supply of lemons, as it's her favourite food, being a health fanatic. This being an easy food to eat without not gaining any weight.


I wish I had 48 hours in every day instead of just 24.

Wish granted, but to do that, you will be sent somewhere that has days that long.

An unpleasant planet near Cassiopeia.


I wish I could visit Alice's Wonderland.


Sylkat

Granted. Just do LSD for five hours.

I wish for no more wishes to be made.

Very well, but now there is mass unemployment in the wish-granting sector of the economy. Not to mention the associated sectors working to produce everything that was previously being wished for. Masses of fairy children end up in poverty and DIE of starvation. There are mass demonstrations across the country, and you become the new Hitler in the eyes of society.

I wish for wishes to be granted again.

Granted. That's a wish and here's one: I wish for no more wishes to be made again.

Granted. But then time reverses its flow to before wishes were forbidden.

I wish that good coffee still cost less than a dollar.

Granted. Here is your drop of good coffee.

I wish for a filled clean bowl of completely edible, fresh and cold vanilla ice cream and a clean and usable regular-size spoon to eat it with.

Granted. Unfortunately, it has been topped with pickled herring crumbles.

I wish that the cafeteria fries weren't soggy and cold.

Wish granted by the Fairy Of Literal Meanings.

You now have a hot, fresh, crispy Fried Cafeteria.

Enjoy!

I wish that I could find my iPad.

Sylkat

Granted.

But it is encased in frozen molasses.

I wish that all the money ever tossed into wishing wells would end up in my bank account.

Granted. The service fees charged by the bank greatly exceed that amount and you owe the bank the difference.

I wish dogs could climb trees.