Corrupt A Wish

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Granted.
There is now an epidemic of traumatic brain injuries associated with puppies landing on people's heads.

I wish my sh*t really did smell like roses.

Granted. Now, every time someone is wearing floral perfume, all your friends and associates look at you, wondering if you farted.

I wish this cold and/or allergy would go away.

Granted.

Your case was referred to the Fairy Of Allergies.

Her recommendation, that you be placed immediately into one of those sterile plastic bubbles, has been carried out.

Enjoy!


I wish for an electric tricycle.


Sylkat

Granted, but it only has two speeds: off and mach 4.

I wish my favorite pen hadn't just run out of ink.

Granted. Not only did it not run out of ink, it now magically never will. Unfortunately, it has now sprung a leak....

I wish I had perfect teeth, in the correct positions, in my mouth.

Granted. But the dentist removed your tongue in order to do that.

I wish for a totally accurate lie detector and to require every politician to take a lie detector test through it and then to fully publish the results worldwide.

Granted, but after it is revealed that all politicians are liars, the entire world is thrown into chaos.

I wish I had a Sonic cherry-limeade in front of me right now.

Granted. I tried to make it cold by putting it in the freezer, but I accidentally left it in there too long. You might have to wait a few hours, mate.

I wish my housework would do itself.

Granted. Your house goes to work and becomes your boss.

I wish eyebrows no longer existed.

Granted, but mass frustration ravages the planet as people struggle to tell whether others are feeling surprise or confusion or any other emotion that usually involves the eyebrows. On a positive note, many more people suddenly feel more sympathy for autistics.

I wish my cats kittens would all sell for a thousand dollars each.

Granted, they become saleskittens and sell all your possessions for $1000 each and they keep all the money.

I wish sales prices didn't end with 99 cents after the dollar amount which also ends with a 9.

Granted. I assume you want prices to end in 5 or 0, so now you can only buy items in packs of 5 or 10.

I wish I was good at parkour and freerunning.

You are but now you can't go anywhere without doing summersaults and running up walls.

I wish I could fly.

You can, but those huge, black, shiny wings which have sprouted from your back have all of the 'Occult Phenomenon Investigators' in your area convinced that they have a Demon Sighting!

I wish that I lived in a trailer park.


Sylkat

Granted, but it has an effect on your lifestyle, speech, health and family size – all stereotypical.

I wish the sun was multi-coloured.

yes so now you get a multi-coloured suntan

I wish I could eat chips every day