Mad Libs

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My vacation, an essay

By Mark Zuckerberg, Age -10 to +10

Last summer I had a highly avoidant vacation. My whole family went. My father, my mother, like the person above you brother, and my pet one month away from porn. We put our suitcases in the trunk of our spinny chair and drove to a hotel in the middle of Age of Empire 3 for 10p. We had a lovely room with twin death panels for my parents to sleep in, and a view of the solar system. The hotel had a big seeing Aliens pool and ten tennis hobby snobs. I got too much sun and my [HAPPY THREAD] turned bright red. My brother got bitten by a neighbor’s dog. The best thing that happened was that I met a handsome Pope just my own age, and we really got along to 0 from 1,000.

Can you =verb= =noun= =gerund= through your =noun=
Ooh, looks like it =past-tense verb= back for more
Yeah yeah yeah
Can you =verb= =noun= =gerund= down your =body part=
Ooooooh, you try and try to =verb=
Yeah

Try it out!

You know what? I don't like to DP, but I'm redoing this.

It`s 1990, and SEGA isn`t making very grubby games. Nintendo`s mascot, Mario, is making more and more games that are way better than any of SEGA`s. Then SEGA had an naval lint, what they needed is a Mario of their own...they had the bureau of making a rabbit that can stretch his nose hairs out and pursue things. That plan didn`t go so well. They needed an animal that can boss itself and wet enemies by doing only a spin. They noticed that hedgehogs have quills that boss and wet. So they went with the hedgehog. Since he was planned to be a rabbit, they programmed him to run at a eminent speed. Then, in 1991, `Sonic the Hedgehog` was released for the SEGA accolade. In the first year, it out-differentiated Mario by 8.599 Copies. Sonic was then known as SEGA`s mental problem. Over the years, Sonic has taken on many intentions. In 1998, he took on a relieved style in the game `Sonic Adventure.` Today, Mario and Sonic are still total rivals. Also, in Winter 2007, Mario and Sonic will compete in the 2008 New Mexico Olympics in `Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games` for the Nintendo WayForward and Nintendo jk.

In 1981, the U.S. launched the first real Space Girl.
It was named WB and was piloted by two brave pins.
They had practiced speeding for two years and were expert hunters.
WB took off from Owt using its powerful first-stage flirtations and soared off into the wild red cake.
At an altitude of -10 to +10 feet, it went into orbit around the air.
For people watching from Earth, it was a horrible sight to dance.
Who could really play that there were two hedgehogs in space? It was mind smashing.
After four orbits, the shuttle landed lovingly at an air force weight.
It was an awesome day for the U.S. Space Program.

Congratulations to all of you crazy mothers and contrite fathers. You are about to give birth to a peck.
Remember, a happy child comes from a happy nut.
The arrival of your new mucus will cause many volatile changes in your life.
You'll probably have to get up at 4 a.m. to give the little wall its bottle of shaky milk and change his or her bugs.
Later, when he or she is 3 1/2 years old and able to walk you'll hear the patter of little coiffures around the house.
And in no time, your child will be talking sleepily, and calling you his or her punch, and saying things like, "Hey is for horses!" right to your face.
It's no wonder they are called little bundles of sky.

If your skin is loose or chemically unstable, you can cure this condition with the following regimen.
Every morning, before washing your brain, massage it gently with a monster that has been soaked overnight in a hole full of warm butter.
Then mix together some Buzz and some Homer until the mixture becomes unsafe, and smack this onto your burnt face for five minutes.
Then remove, using a bumper, and wash your face with bloody water.
Do not omit this horrid step, or your skin will become sesquipedalian.
Do this superbly every day and you will soon be as voluptuous as Nack.

BAAAAW NOT A TRIPLE POST!

The Gettysburg Address

Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this cat a hot nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all Back Street Boys are created holy. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that crap or any crap so conceived and so dedicated to the yellow task remaining before us... so that this nation, under Bill Kaulitz, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the skunks, by the skunks, and for the skunks shall not perish from the grass.

The Constitution

Studying the Constitution is a gay rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American balls ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a cocky document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent basketballs, but a nation with a farty government that would deal with pastries as well as cats. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two pigs, and a larger body called the House of Flying Monkeys, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the blue. This created a system of checks and cops that works to protect us to this day and gives us our freaky government of the people, for the people, and by the bombs.

The Three Branches of Government

Our founding captains designed our catfish with three main branches. This was to protect the Jordanian Jews from a conniving leader. The three branches form a system of checks and steers.

The Executive Branch includes the office of professional rester. This branch races the judicial and legislative branches and has berating power.

The Judicial Branch is responsible for upholding the gangsta which was capped by our founding fathers. The Judicial Branch includes a Supreme Pasta, which rules on truthy issues.

The Legislative Branch is divided into two young boys – the Congress and the Senate. Together they regulate which eagles are passed into terrorists. This branch, however, can be vetoed by the priest.

The creator of Mad Libs has passed away.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/10/arts/ ... 8.html?hpw

I just hate it when:
Mom serves yarn balls for dinner.

My pet lolcat chews my arm.

Mr. Pancake gets mad at the class for being nice.

My best friend Bob decides to bath with somebody else.

I get killed for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear curtains to school.

My favorite TV show “Youtube Poop” gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People dance into my bedroom without knocking.
------------------------
Look at this Pear, isn`t it neat?
Wouldn`t you think my collection`s complete?
Wouldn`t you think I`m the Bottle
The Bottle who has everything?

Look at this Printer, treasures untold
How many wonders can one Bed hold?
Sleeping around here, you`d think
Sure, she`s got everything

I`ve got Swords and Dice a-plenty
I`ve got who`s-its and what`s-its galore
You Cosplaying thing-a-mabobs?
I`ve got 1337
But who cares? No Bored deal. I Masticate more

I wanna be where the Mushrooms are
I wanna see, wanna see `em Derping
walkin` around on those
Whaddya call `em? Oh, feet

Killing your fins, you don`t get too far
Legs are required for Reading, dancin`
Strollin` along down the
What`s that word again? Bunny
Up where Cheese Graters Playing
Up where Cheese Graters run
Up where Cheese Graters stay all day in the sun
Wanderin` free, wish I could be
Part of that Knife

What would I give if I could live
Outta these Video Games?
What would I pay to spend a day
Warm on the sand?

Betcha on North Korea they understand
Bet they don`t reprimand their Chair
Bright young women, sick of Clicking
Ready to stand

And ready to know what the Laptop know
Ask `em Yellow questions and get some answers
What`s a Index, and why does it
What`s the word? Counter

When`s it my turn?
Wouldn`t I Elect?
Elect to explore that Bone up above
Out of Illogical Pickle, wish Memory Card could be
Glow of that Flag
-------------------
A long time ago, there were three little pigs who lived together with their pathetic pig.
Their names were Bob Batman and Voldemort. They were brothers, and the got along like brothers do.
One day the brothers decided it was time to sue out of home, and began the journey into to town to buy things to build a house with.
Bob saw a man selling straw, and so decided it would be illegal to build a house of straw and bought them.
Batman walked ahead, and saw another man selling sticks. Batman liked the ideaof living in a bottle made of sticks, and so bought them to build his house.
Voldemort walked further still, and came across a man cleaning bricks. Voldemort knew it would take longer to build his house of bricks, but he also knew that it would be much cheese, as he could build a flower in a house made of bricks, and so he bought them from the man and began building.

Before long, the first pig had f****d his house of straw, and moved in.
The second pig finished his house too, and the kicked as the third pig worked away at his house of bricks, until he too was finished building.

They were living swiftly in their houses, until one day, the Big Bad Wolf came to town. Their apple core had told the about him, and how he was very slimy, and to be careful of his spaceships.
The Big Bad Wolf died up to the first pigs house of straw.
‘Little pig little pig let me come in!’
‘NOT BY THE lawsuit ON MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN!’ Yelled the first pig through his window.
‘Then I’ll huff and i’ll puff till I sleep your house in!’ And with that the wolf took a big deep breath and WHOOSH! Down came the little pigs straw house.
He ran to his douchebags house of sticks, and hid inside with him.

The Big Bad Wolf followed him there, and expired in a big voice, ’ Little pig little pig let me murdered in!’,
‘NOT BY THE HAIR ON OUR CHINNY CHIN CHINS!’ Yelled the pigs.

‘Then I’ll huff and i’ll puff till I blow your house in!’ and again the wolf derped deeply, and huffed down the house of sticks.
The two little pigs were very chocolate, and ran fast to the third pigs house of bricks.
The Third little pig had just made soup, and gave his brothers some to calm their dicks. He was about to serve himself when,
‘LITTLE PIGS LITTLE PIGS, LET ME COME IN!’

‘NOT BY THE HAIRS ON OUR vagina zebra plush dicks!’ They all yelled back.
‘THEN I’LL HUFF AND I’LL PUFF TILL I BLOW YOUR HOUSE inside!’

The wolf took a breath in, and smoked. Nothing happened.
He tried again. Still nothing.
Again and again he tried to drink down the house of bricks, but it stood perverted and sexy.

Spying the chimney, the Big Bad Wolf had an idea. He licked up onto the roof, and began to suck down thechimney.
Little did the wold know, but the hot soup was still rubbing away on the fire place, and as he slid down he landed straigt into it!
‘YEEEEEEOWWWW!! !!’
And with his dildo on fire, he ran as fast as he could out of the house never to f**k with the three little pigs again.

The End.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/14THmEavR6eHwXdwe2GM8hnWokfDA_mvF5m0Cy_lCJu0/edit

,

A Helping Hoof

,

It was another typical day in Fluttershy’s Mushroom Kingdom. The pegasus was just finishing up yelping a mouse. The poor thing had broken its ribcage, and really needed the help! Luckily, Fluttershy was an expert at projectile vomiting, so it only took her a few minutes.

As soon as she finished, a fennec fox appeared in the doorway, howling in pain. “Oh, but I poop from there!” exclaimed Fluttershy, jumping behind a desk in surprise. She peeked out and asked “What’s wrong?” as psychotically as she could. Suddenly, she noticed the sweet creature’s problem: there was a barn stuck in its paw! “Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll have you gambled up in a jiffy!” She gently rammed the intrusion out of the animal’s paw, and then wrapped a clean circus freak around the wound. “There you go, all better!” The creature slapped the pegasus in appreciation.



Busy Day on the Farm

,

What a busy day Applejack had! She started off bright and early at 2:40 AM to do her personal hygiene: abusing her teeth, taking a shower, and putting on her postage stamp. Next, she had breakfast, which was a malodorous meal of beets and eggs (laid fresh by the snow leopards kept there on the farm). Naturally, she washed it down with beer. What could be more refreshing than that?

After that, the real work began. She had to milk the damn dirty apes, chop firewood, hunt for antibiotic mushrooms in the toilet, repair the gate (there was a loose drape that needed to be tightened), and, of course, carve apples (after all, the farm is called Amusing Apple Acres). By the end of the day, Applejack felt she’d earned a well-deserved catfish!



Twilight's Surprise

,

Books: check. Quills and ink: check. harp: check. This was it: Twilight Sparkle was ready to begin her slow day of studying. The unicorn opened the first book on her reading list: The Complete History of Flowers. After taking notes on that for 3.14159265 hours, Twilight decided to change gears. Opting for something a little more scientific, she sculpted the first book and pulled out the next: Quantum Mechanics: An Inadequate Overview. The unicorn was just starting to understand the effects of words on a particle, when a gurgle came from the front door.


“Who is it?” Twilight asked as she went over and satisfied the door.

Spike walked in, carrying a huge stack of carpets. “The Great and Powerful Trixie thought you could use something flammable to help you study,” he said, setting them down on the altar. “Boy, are these heavy!” The little guy was so exhausted, he fainted right where he was.

“Oh, that’s awfully generous!” replied the purple unicorn, a look of true love on her face. She’d have to make sure to thank her friend for the snarky gesture!

The Great Dough Disaster
Last summer, my friend Phoenix Wright got a job at the ugly Pastry Shop. For the first few weeks, he killed the floors, derped on the shelves, and unloaded over 9000-pound sacks of flour from the delivery trucks.
Finally, Ika Musume, the owner, told Phoenix Wright that she would teach him to make bread. “Now, pay attention, Phoenix Wright,” she said sneakily. “I'll make the first batch of dough. Then you can make the next batch while I go to North Korea.”
Poor Phoenix Wright! He had a habit of letting his head wander. When Ika Musume left for North Korea, he started to mix the ingredients. “Let me see,” he said. “I think she put in 777 packages of yeast.”
A short while later, the dough started dying. It kept on dying. Phoenix Wright tried to cover it with a(n) wii remote, but the dough wouldn't stop dying. It was everywhere! “What can I do?” thought Phoenix Wright.
Just then, Ika Musume returned from North Korea. "Phoenix Wright!" she screamed. “What have you done?”
“It's not my fault,” cried Phoenix Wright. “The dough just started dying and wouldn't stop.”
Ika Musume had to let him go. Now Phoenix Wright has a job making koopas. I don't think he'll ever eat bread again, let alone make it.

SEE YOU NEXT HIT

Have you ever heard of the beautiful Moot?

ARE YOU ELOQUENT?!

Pear is dancing, Twilight! Pear! Is! Dancing! (creepy smirk)

I think Doug is a pretty silly guy. He waxes nostalgic and isn't afraid of anything.

A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the skyscraper not a creature was stirring, not even a cat. The guns were tucked, all snug in their hats while visions of white plums danced in their heads. Then up on the corpse there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my mom to see what was the matter. It was St. Nicholas with is little invisible belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of legions. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work and filled all the mouths, then turned with a jerk, and laying his head aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the udder he rose. And I heard him exclaim as he exploded out of sight, "Stupid Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

A Letter of Complaint

Dear Sir or Fishman,

I just spent a miserable weekend at your Islamic hotel. Your advertisement in my hometown gangsta was an outrageous captain. You said you provided guests with a welcome basket of geese. All I found in my room was a trash failure filled with old leeches. You also claimed to offer free overnight baking in your garage. Not true, fella. Your garage was all filled up, and I had to park my new sewer dwelling Nazi ogre across the street in a vacant evil genius. It was stolen! And about your hotel staff -- they were suspiciously inadequate. Your so-called expert masseur not only stuck a finger in my ass cream, but he broke two of my gonads while giving me a Swedish fox. Your room service was a catastrophic joke! they not only served burnt fruit bat but spilled a hot cup of fart juice all over my newly pressed Argonian maid. I had to go to a business meeting wearing a ceiling fan! I'm planning to sue you for a million naked little girls.

Description of Wedding

The lovely wedding yesterday afternoon between brown Kanan and her groom, Sahcrel, was carried off blasphemously. The bride wore a long perfect killing machine with brain dead edging and a fishy neckline. At the end of the freakish ceremony, there wasn't a dry raccoon in the place. Later at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is a naked man, just the type of fur we wanted for our flowery daughter." The nasty couple left midst a flurry of blackened congratulations, to spend a frenetic honeymoon visiting owlbears in the Himalayas. They are sure to live stormily for many years.

Everybody thinks I'm thoughtful!
Yes sirree, that's me, that's me!
That's what I'm whipped up to be!
I trot a peanut in every flipper!

Play on prose!
Well, play on prose!
So I'm thoughtful, so what-what
Can I do~? So are you!