Corrupt A Wish

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Granted; hey, there he is! And you’re on the island right there along with him and Robinson Crusoe.


I wish I had my own fan club.

Granted, you have a fan club. Box fans, ceiling fans, desk fans, decorative fans, etc. They all hang out together in your room.

I wish it was my birthday.

Granted. It's your birthday. Since you cheated with the dates you're the only one who knows.


I wish everybody admired me without stalking or otherwise harassing me.

Granted, but they will never let on that they admire you so you spends your days in doubt if people like you or not.

I wish it would rain today.

Granted. It's raining acid rain. Very acidic acid rain.


I wish I could find an archaeological treasure.

Granted, you find loads of treasure, but other archeologists find out about your luck and decide to hunt you down and kill you so they can have all the glory.

I wish it wouldn't rain acid rain.

Granted. The Yellowstone supervolcano erupts, burying USA in ashes, and spreading toxic gases and tiny particles of glass and rock all over the place, permanently injuring and suffocating anyone who breathes it in. The particles also cut your skin and eyes.

I wish Katla would erupt! I was so disappointed when it didn't follow Eyjafjallajökull in 2010.

Granted, Katla erupts and it covers all of Iceland in hot lava and kills everyone there.

I wish to see Yellowstone again!

Granted. You have to locate it first though, and then you have to dig real deep. You ain't afraid of a little physical labor, are you? 'Coz that's the only way you're gonna see it again. I'd bring a protective suit if I were you. And maybe some O2 as well....

I wish to smell a volcano again... But only faintly, like last time. (Yep, one eve we actually did smell the volcano so far away! So exciting!)

Granted. You smell the faint smell of a volcano . . . then run from the lava that spills off of it.

I wish I could go clothes shopping.

Granted! but nothing fits you!

I wish i could find a relationship with someone a lot larger than me. and real muscular who can give me TIGHT Hugs.

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When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Wish Granted; Honey Boo Boo's Mama June is looking for you!


I wish for a new sleeping bag and new flannel pajamas.


Sylkat

Granted. A FBI agent will enforce your sleeping ban while you are wearing the pajamas. The enforcement will be playing loud music while you are wearing those.

I wish Skykat just made a typo.

Granted but you will make two typos.
I wish that the world was a better place to live.

Granted, but life will be much much shorter.

I wish it was the weekend so I can go home to visit family and friends.

Granted but you will be sick.
I wish Alzheimer's didn't exist