Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you are now 8 feet 7 inches tall.

I wish pumpkin squash soup wouldn't be poisonous.

Granted. Everything except pumpkin squash soup is toxic to you.

I wish for serenity.

Granted but there will be no love.
I wish for a good nights sleep.

Granted. You sleep through the entire night ... during which the Rapture occurred for everyone else. The world is all yours.

I wish to become a vegetarian.

Granted! You sleep really well at night, and also during the day when you should be awake.

I wish I wasn't out of wishes.

Granted but your wishes will no longer be granted
I wish for my 8 ft 7 in to help me win an Olympic gold medal in swimming.

Granted, you get an Olympic gold medal, but you get it taken away because of drug use. What a shame!

I wish for my wishes to be granted.

Granted but your wishes will be corrupted.
I wish for chocolate chip pancakes.

Granted. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx5Wpqf4-OM[/youtube]
Chef did the same, made half chocolate chip pancakes and half traditional pork pancakes. What a great combination! Not. And you will eat all of it.

I wish I had more of that wonderful berry /jelly /cream cake we made this summer. T’was so tasty but there are no more berries available now.

Granted, that same cake will magically reappear in your kitchen.....several months old.....yum!

I wish to move soon!

Granted. You’re moving to one of the most peaceful places on the face of the earth: Mogadishu where you can enjoy al-shabaab and the drought.


I wish my cake was made today!

Granted, too bad your family eats it all before you have a change to taste it!

I wish I had a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks.

Granted. Too bad they've changed the recipe. The content you will find to be pumpkin juice, spiced with lots of red naga chilli and salt, all covered in milk skin. Enjoy!



I wish rabies didn't exist.

Granted, no more rabies! However, parasitic diseases quadruple! Pandemic!!

I wish disease didn't exist at all.

Granted, but now the Earth will be even more over populated and resources be exploited and running out, leading to more conflict, war and terror, and lots of violent deaths.


I wish there were no parasites

Granted! No parasites, but now all food in highly contaminated with bacterias like salmonella.

I wish they didn't change the recipe for the pumpkin spice latte.