Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but it is Tuesday from two weeks ago and you have to do-over all the days since

I wish I could sleep now

Granted! You are asleep now. You are sleeping so well, so well in fact that no one can wake you. They are concerned and call an ambulance to your house. You have not woken up yet, they send you to the hospital where they run all sorts of tests on you, and monitor your brain activity. It seems you've slipped into a coma, but no one knows why.

I wish my computer would stop overheating.

Granted but the fans needed for it to not overheat will be close to storm strength

I wish I hadn't woken up feeling so blech

Granted! You woke up feeling great, but your day turns out to be a crappy one that by the end of it, you are feeling pretty crappy.

I wish the next season of my favorite show would start soon.

Granted! But all of the characters die in a terrible accident and the show has to be cut short, never to be resolved.

I wish that we had the makings for ginger molasses cookies so that we could make them tomorrow!

Granted, but every time it's on, blackouts hit so you won't get to watch a single episode of it. But it's good to know that it isn't canceled at least, right? There's always the reruns. The coming storm might mess up the signals though. What a pity!

I wish I had a turtle in my hand right now

@Bearsandsyrup
Granted! You have everything you need to make ginger molasses cookies, but you accidentally spill most of the ingredients on the floor.

@Skilpadde
Granted! But it's a snapping turtle. Your poor fingers.

I wish there were no blackouts during my shows, or that the characters all die in an accident.

Granted, but they have recast the entire set. You won't recognize a single one of the characters and the new actors interpret their characters in ways that make you cringe. The show is ruined.

I wish everyone but me could get this gem of a book for Christmas, preferably along with a CD of the spectacular hit it's based on, because the song alone just wasn't enough.

Granted! Everyone gets a copy of it with CD, but everything is in Norwegian. No one except for those who speak Norwegian will understand it, and no one realizes just how bad it is. Your gift to the world is quickly tossed aside. No harm, no foul.

I wish I wasn't already sick of hearing Christmas music because it's playing all day long at work.

Just wondering.. am I the only one who has ever had that weird feeling of Christmas at the wrong time of the year? Like say in July or October? I probably am...


Granted, you never get tired of hearing Christmas songs. They're played all day throughout December but you still love every single one of them. When they're no longer played you get anxious. You need them! You start bringing your x-masy CDs to work so you can play them all day. You can't stand to be without them for a single second. That's sad.. at first. At some point you'll be committed for your obsession with Christmas songs. You should be able to function without them, but alas you aren't...

I wish "Hva sier reven?" was translated before everyone was given it so that people all over the world could learn what the fox has to say.

I doubt your the only one. Hey, I know people who listen to Christmas music in July, and people who are just itching to start decorating for Christmas as soon as it get cold out.

Granted! It is translated into every language, and even to everyone in the world. However, they never bother to read it. It's on the shelf collecting dust.

I wish I had some pomegranate grape juice.

Well, that's good to know!

Granted, you have exactly one drop of pomegranate grape juice. Don't drink it all at once!

I wish my computer would stop malfunctioning! I'm this close to chopping it up!

Granted. Your computer works beautifully. Now it's a virus magnet which makes you pull out your hair.

I wish I wasn't facing homelessness again.

granted, unfortunately you have to stay with me. by the way I would love to read your book

I wish I felt complete

Granted. You feel complete but somehow you also feel fat and bloated in the process.

I wish unicorns were real.

Granted, but they eat puppies.

I wish I had better coffee.