Corrupt A Wish

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Wish granted, but now your therapist comes to your home without warning for the rest of your life.

I wish the sun wasn't so bright.

Granted. The sun dims down, with that there is significantly less heat reaching earth, causing most life forms to freeze off.

I wish ice did not form on roads.

Granted! Now ice forms on trees and the world food supply diminishes!

I wish to never see a therapist!

Granted, you're blind-folded during therapy.

I wish the TV signal hadn't been lost this evening. I missed out on new episodes of Two and a half men.

Granted. Now you are poisoned by Hollywood schlock. How can you live with yourself?

I wish people believed me when I tell them I have ASD.

granted- but they think it's audio selective disorder

I wish it was above 20F

Granted. It's 21F.

I wish I were 30 again.

Granted, now all the same angsts you had as a 30 year old come back to haunt you.

I wish nursing wasn't such a stressful job.

granted- your clinic gets only 7 people a day and they lay you off

I wish the labor industry would pick up

Granted, but for that to have happened the tax structure was rewritten by Rand Paul.

I wish I had a lava lamp.

Granted. It is a regular lamp that spews real hot molten lava whenever you turn it on.

I wish my dog would stop eating soap.

Granted. But now your dog has taken to drinking shampoo. Bubble farts fill your house. Or is it fart bubbles?
Bubbles of fart?
You get the picture.

I wish I had some soapy liquid and bubble makers.

Granted. But it's that same damn dog.....

I wish I had an infinite supply of vodka.

Granted. You have all the Stoli your liver can handle. Then, of course, cirrhosis sets in.

I wish I was married.

Granted. She's high maintenance.

I wish I had an interesting book with me.

Granted! Now you have all the acclaimed best-sellers at your disposal, yet you don't know which one to read because they're all good books!

I wish to write a novel.