Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but you must play down in the orchestra pit. The hot, smelly, crowded orchestra pit. You'll never be up on the stage because the orchestra you play in usually plays for theatrical performances.

I wish I had more reliable coworkers. We are short staffed, and now I have to do the work of two people by myself tonight.... Grr.

Granted, Shikari. But your co-workers are robots and
the company requires you to accept cybernetic surgical implants
in order to work with them.

I wish I had a place to practice my new musical instrument.

Granted. It's right on the subway platform. Put out your instrument case and catch some free bucks while you practice in the cold.

I wish my nose weren't so cold and red.

Granted, now it's white-hot instead.

Granted, but you can't hear him because of your audio-processing disorder.

I wish my nose wasn't white and red hot.

Granted. It's blue and cold again.


I do not have audio-processing disorder, the judge merely spoke too softly, old git that he is. I wish for him to repeat what he said. (And not hold me in contempt for what I just said!)

Granted, but then you find what you did. How embarrassing!

I wish I was wealthy enough to have a bookcase that swings into another room.

Granted, but it closes behind you, trapping you inside of your secret room.

No! I didn't do that, did I? Nooooo!! I wish the judge will see that there were extenuating circumstances, and besides that such embarrassment is punishment enough.

Granted, the judges see that there were extenuating circumstances, but he doesn't care.

I wish to not get trapped in my secret room.

Granted, you won’t get trapped in your secret room. You don’t have any secret room anymore. The bookcase doesn’t swing properly, it’s stuck just so open that that everyone can see the room,but just so closed that you can’t enter. What a waste!

If only the judge hadn’t been such a heartless man. I wish I hadn’t done what got me into this situation in the first place.

Granted! Rewind. Now you're about to do a much more embarrassing thing. I guess you didn't learn the first time around.

I wish I had a fireplace. I'm cold right now.

Granted! An unknown volcano erupts right under your house. For a time you will have your very own lava-fireplace in your home. Too bad about the hydrogen sulfide…

I wish I had gotten away with it! I also wish they'd stop making such a big deal outta it! Live and let go, especially when it comes to me, lol!

Granted.

I wish to not have a volcano erupt under my house. That would be bad.

Would that be bad, mr Mackey?

Granted, it erupts on the other side of the street instead. Haven’t you always wished for a magma lake?

I wish I could transform into anything I wanted and back.

Granted. You are given the powers of a Wonder Twin. Unfortunately, you need the other twin to activate your spells.

I wish I had me a hot dog with chili and cheese right now.

What's a Wonder Twin?

Granted, but the sausage is spoilt. You'll get sick.

I wish our politicians understood how important it is to keep good soil for agriculture, rather than new Ikea buildings!