Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. They now understand the importance of maintaining good soil, unfortunately, their constituents have to pay more taxes to uphold it.

I wish I lived at the edge of an enchanted forest.

Wish Granted, by the Fairy of Enchanted Forests.

Unfortunately for you, numerous magical hungry fanged flying Things come flapping out of the Enchanted Forest every night, looking for snaks.....

And what do they find?

You! Muahahahaha!

I wish for a nice new, long raincoat.


Sylkat

Granted. It is 25,000 miles long. The wind picks up the end of it and whisks you up into the atmosphere and then into outer space where you now orbit the earth. On clear nights people from earth can see your slick yellow raincoat reflecting the light of the sun like a pen stroke across the sky. Oh, as for you? Hmmm. Well, I'll grant that you will nevertheless still be alive still and very comfortable. Moreover, your cell phone will work and you will be able to call your friends below.

I wish I had a magma lake in my backyard teeming with magma fish.

Granted, but the neighbor's dog "Scrappy" will fall into this magma lake and you will be sued for the negligence of having a magma lake in your yard without the proper fence surrounding it.

I wish for the ability to mind-read every single time I want to.

Granted, but I already knew that was what you wanted, because I own a time machine.

I wish I had my magma lake fenced in so that Scrappy wouldn't have been hurt.

Granted. You have a fenced-in magma lake but the heat from the molten rocks disintegrates your house.

I wish I had a bass guitar.

Granted, but the notes are so low that you cannot hear them.

I wish I had 20/20 vision.

Granted. Now you clearly see the bullies that's been tormenting you all your life.

I wish I was back in Trinidad & Tobago.

Granted. One foot is in Trinidad. The other is in Tobago. As for the rest of you? Study advanced topology for the answer.

I wish I had big muscles.

Granted but a tropical storm comes and you have to rebuild your awesome hut.

I wish I was in the Bahamas on a vacation.

Wait, what about my muscles?

Granted, your butt muscles are HUGE! They can even be seen from the Bahamas, where Lostiehere is vacationing. Ugh, there goes her beautiful holiday ...

I wish I had free, unlimited Internet.

Your wish has been granted, however your muscles are so big now that you can't find any t-shirts in the store that fit.

I wish for a new bed mattress.

Granted but the new SOPA blacks out everything that makes the net interesting or fun.

Edit: Lostiehere, granted, you get seven, but there is a pea under them.

I wish for there to be no new SOPA, PIPA or their like.

Granted. All acronyms are D.O.A.

I wish for knowledge of distant galactic life forms.

Granted, you have no knowledge at all because such things don't exist.

I wish this song would stop playing at work. It's driving insane.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiSf083QM_U[/youtube]