Corrupt A Wish

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Oh, no, no no no, that wasn't aimed at you, Shikari! It was aimed at how people never care as much as I think they should!

Granted, you have some pretty flowers on the table. They're the flowers from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

I wish to have a good twin. Wait, does that make me the evil one? I wish that both my twin and I are good or at least acceptable shades of grey.

Haha, so it seems!

Granted, now it seems like time slows down. You know what that means right? Longer winters!! Yay!

I wish I had a robot.

Granted, but the robot is evil and tries to kill you.

I wish I could think of other ways right now to corrupt your wishes that don't involve anything evil, or plots to kill you.

Granted. I’ll give you an easy one.

I wish I had a nice antique doll and a black widow.

Granted, but the doll is possessed and tries to kill you. You get bitten by the black widow. Their bites hurt like crazy.

I wish you didn't wish for things I despise.

Granted, and I don’t think I have. All girls love dolls, right? And girls love animals, which spiders are. All good

I wish I could reprogram my robot so it was a good no-killer robot.

So wrong!

Granted, now the robot is annoyingly in love with you. It follows you like a lost puppy.

I wish I fluent in ASL.

Wrong? So confused!

Granted, but you break your hand.

I wish my robot would stop following me around like that. Hey, you piece of scrap metal , take a hint! Do you want me to send you to the scrap yard?

Granted, but the robot had friends.....evil friends....and they found out that you sent him to the scrap yard. They plot their evil scheme against you.

I wish to not break my hand. I've broken both my hands before, and I don't wish to do so again.

Granted, you don't break your hands. They get burned though and you have to have them bandaged and in a sling for a while.

I wish the evil robots never find me. I've seen Terminator and the Crimebuster in Heartbeeps....

Granted!

I wish I was somewhere tropical for the remainder of the winter season.

Granted, but it’s hurricane season there.

I wish my city wasn’t built on clay.

Granted! Your city is built on ancient Viking burial grounds. Nothing ever good comes from building on burial ground according to the movies.

I wish for it not to be hurricane season.

Granted! Not a single hurricane is in sight. However, the area has seen increased seismic activity lately and is waiting for ‘the big one’.

I wish for my city to not be built on ancient Viking burial grounds.

Granted! Your city is built on sand.

I wish it was warm enough to go canoeing.