Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You get sucked into a rip in the space-time continuum and are forced to relive the same day of karate moves over and over ad infinitum.

I wish I was dependable and reliable instead of boring and predictable.

Granted. Your colleagues depend on you to be a reliable scapegoat whenever they need someone to take the blame for their mistakes. Your good standing suffers, and your misfortune never fails to entertain, although you do become increasingly anxious, erratic and unpredictable over time. You're welcome.

I wish I had a bowl of salted peanuts.

granted. but they are so salty that they burn off your taste buds, and you are left never to taste anything again.

i wish i had a boyfriend.

Granted, but he has no nose.

I wish I could eat potato chips and not get fat.

Granted. They are full of olestra. Enjoy your time at the toilet.

I wish horses had feathers.

Granted. You are allergic.

I wish coconuts were easier to crack open.

Granted. But you suddenly develop a severe coconut allergy which causes you to break out in a full body itchy rash that lasts for months.

I wish that caffeine entered the bloodstream much more quickly.

Granted. No corruption of your wish is possible.

I wish I never had to work again.

Granted. I hear the state hospital has great salisbury steak, if you take your meds.


I wish I could sleep.

Granted. You're in bed now 24/7

I wish it were 3 hours from now.

Granted. But the warp in time shifts you to an alternate reality where sentient brazil nuts rule the world and eat people as snack food.

I wish my wife would be home for Christmas and/or New Year's.

Granted, but after the cruel way you corrupted my wish, once she comes home she leaves immediately.

I wish certain people in my life could be gone forever.

Granted, they are dead. Now you're serving life time in prison, since you're found guilty in murdering them.

I wish for something on my mind to be nothing to worry about.

Granted! You aren't worrying about a thing, but that is only because you no longer recognize the things that one should be worried about.

I wish my hair would dry in less than a minute.

Wish granted. It feels like pinestraw though
I wish I could go back 4 years in time

Granted, but you will remember everything from before you went back in time. You know everything that is going to happen, and you are powerless to stop the bad things from happening. You relive the bad stuff twice.

I wish my hair would dry quickly and still look and feel healthy.