Corrupt A Wish

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So I’m a BEK now??

Granted, you have no lungs to have pneumonia in. Enjoy your gills.

I wish to scare someone sh*tless now that I’m a BEK. I wanna do that whole urban legend thing and knock on a door and ask to be let in and scare the crap out of them when they see my lack of eyes.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaDoKUyMhfQ[/youtube]

I can't be friends with a BEK. That's worse than a doll.

Granted, because you succeeded in creeping me out.

I wish to have lungs and not gills like a fish.

Can’t you see past my lacking eyes? I yam what I yam. Or more accurately: I am what you made me into…

Granted, you have lungs but they’re susceptible to pneumonia and other illnesses affecting the lungs.

I wish I wasn’t a BEK.

Granted!

I wish to not have to play nurse maid......it's already happening....let the ridiculous demands begin.

Granted, you go away for a week’s vacation and return when the worst is over. Who knows what conditions you’ll return to? Something tells me you still have some work cut out for you.

I wish Jiminy Cricket was real.

Granted! You are trapped inside the world of Pinocchio....forever.

I wish it was Saturday at 7pm.

Granted, but you’ll sleep in.

I wish to not be stuck inside Pinocchio’s world. If I was to be stuck in a fictional world, I wouldn’t want it to be Pinocchio!

Granted! You are stuck in Hansel and Gretel instead, and you're Gretel. You get eaten by the witch in the woods.

I wish that I didn't eventually have to have jaw surgery.

Ouch!

Granted
Medical problems don’t take care of themselves though…


I wish to not be Gretel and not be eaten by the witch (which Gretel never was, she pushed the witch into the oven). Don't rewrite the classics

Granted! You are eaten by cannibals in real life.

I wish you hadn't pointed out that minor detail about Gretel. Embarrassing.

Sorry! Granted! I said nothing of the kind. But Gretel wants a chat with you about whether or not her survival is a minor detail.

I wish to never be part of a real life Cannibal Holocaust. (I haven’t actually seen that movie but I assume I know what it’s about.)

Granted! Now how can I corrupt that?

I wish it would continue to rain throughout the day. I love the sound of rain on the roof.

Somehow I thought you’d find a way

Granted! Rain is one of the most relaxing sounds imaginable. You’ll need to build an Ark soon but for now, enjoy it.

I wish to fall asleep to the sound of rain against my window.

Granted, but you wake up suddenly from the sound of that pine tree crashing through your window from the high winds that accompanied the rainstorm. I think the pine tree is trying to kill you.

I wish I could travel back to my favorite place on earth.

Granted, but it won’t be like you remember it. Things have changed there, you have changed, so it won’t give you the same good feeling.

I wish the pine tree wouldn’t be so preoccupied with trying to kill me.

Granted. However, the pine tree hires the "hitman" oak tree to do his dirty work. Death by 200,000 acorns.

I wish I could read minds today.