Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You are even grateful for crime.

I wish that my check engine light would stop blinking.

Granted, it stops blinking. But you really ought to check the engine.

Most of Norway will have storm tomorrow. I wish it won't lead to power outage.

Granted. Power is on but the sewers back up overflowing your toilets.

I wish for something special.

Granted. You get a box of Special K for Christmas. Someone clearly wants to help you stave off the winter weight.

I wish that I could go on a relaxing holiday around Europe.

Granted but you are too relaxed to be bothered.

I wish my daughter would let me open the Christmas chocolates.

Granted. You eat them and she has a meltdown, so Christmas is ruined. Then Santa comes to your door with an axe and chops you all up.

I wish that the sky was yellow.

Granted, the sky is now yellow. However, you learn today that this is because urine molecules have created this unique phenomenon.

I wish I could walk a straight line in high heels.

Granted! You walk a perfectly straight line in heels...that is until your heel breaks and you twist your ankle.

I wish to not still be sick on Christmas day.

Granted!

I wish for the weather to not get too bad today. It seems we'll miss the storm here, but there will be strong winds and torrential rains.

Granted, and the pine tree stays put. However, the electricity will be out for 2 days.

I wish there was no such thing as earaches. They are the worst!

Noooooo!! Not a power outage! At this time of year! At Christmas! It’ll be cold too!

Granted, there is no such thing as earaches. There is something called severe ear pain though, and you’ll find it’s almost the same.

I wish for there to be no blackout.

Granted, but the thermostat in your apartment goes out. I hope you have space heaters and warm blankets....you'll need it.

I wish I didn't have Raynaud's. My toes are white as can be, and ice cold at the moment.

Phew, we’re in the clear then! We don’t have thermostat.

Granted, but you’ll get frostbite. Now your toes are blue.

I wish my father understood the importance of hygiene in the kitchen.

You don't?

Granted! He understand the importance of hygiene in the kitchen, but man, the bathroom sure is disgusting.

I wish to never get frostbite.....and btw, my toes do turn blue with Raynaud's.

They do? Oh…

Nope, we have radiators in every room but the entrance, and no thermostat. It’s actually something we kid about, that if we did have a thermostat, it’d explode because my mother would turn it up and I would lower the temperature and it’d be changed continuously until it exploded.

Granted, you won’t get frostbite. You’ll get an infection though, so now they turn red.

I wish he understood about hygiene and microbes period.

Granted!

I wish everyone understood about hygiene and microbes.