Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it’ll turn a fair number into germophobes.

I wish gangrene didn’t exist.

Granted, but sepsis does.

I wish diabetes, heart disease, or cancer didn't exist.

I wish so too. Granted, but malaria, Ebola, the flu, pneumonia etc still does.

I wish I could always protect my loved ones against disease and injury.

Granted, but that doesn't include your pets.

I wish my fever would break already.

Granted but you’ll suffer delirium before that happens.

I wish I did have pets.

Granted! You have pets. Evil pets.

I wish to not suffer delirium.

Granted, you won’t suffer delirium. But the fever will cause you to wander.

How could a pet possibly be evil? Uh-oh… I wish for my pet to not be a Gremlin!

Your pet is not a gremlin, but it eats turtles.

I wish I had a blue heeler named "Blue" who would always be by my side and snuggle in bed with me at night.

I wish for my dead pets to come back to life, and for them to be at their stage when they were just at their youngest stages of their lives.

To jsbachlover: Granted. But Blue is literally blue and some of his inky blueness rubs off on you when he snuggles up to you every night, leaving you permanently blue marks.

To sherry: Granted. But they are now so young that their eyes are still shut so you have to feed them milk formula from a dropper!
(seriously I wish I could really grant a wish to restore our pets that have passed on, to life.)

My wish is that no shops needed to be open on Christmas, Boxing Day or New Years Day and that everyone could plan their extra shopping ahead of time so that the staff of these places can take a break!

Granted, no shops are open on Christmas Day. But...this catches on everywhere and you need to travel to visit family on Christmas Day but the gas station is now also closed.

I wish the guy I like was sitting right here in the same room with me.

Granted. But, he's now sitting next to you and farting . Hahaha.

-I wouldn't mind that they were that young, what would matter is that I'd be able to hug them again -
I wish to be safe, and that no one can hurt me in any way.

Haha, very likely and funny too.

I wish I had a maid sometimes.

Granted. But, she's a forgetful maid. Sometimes she's lazy to do the chores too. So, you have to remember her a lot to do the chores. Also, when you're gone, she takes food from your fridge and watches your TV. She also takes naps on your sofa when you're gone. She also likes to try on your clothes and use your perfume, and personal bathroom things. To save money in her home, she also uses your bathroom for her showers. Occasionally, whenever she takes the chance she also brings her boyfriend to do more than just make out and they do all those things in your own bed. Hahhha
Didn't you want a maid? Now, you've got that for a maid. Hahhhahha

Your maid has also tried to seduce the guy you like. What an awful maid you have. Why did you ask for that a maid. Hehhe

Lol...these just keep crackin' me up. And definitely like the laughs...especially after the holidays, it's so nice to giggle.
I'm sending this maid back...she sounds more like someone that Arnold Schwarzenegger would be into...haha.

I wish my vehicle could transform into a jet at any given time.