Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it's a Ryanair jet. Honestly, I think you'd be better off in your car.

I wish I had a pegasus for a pet.

Granted but although he's beautiful,tame and friendly he's very flatulent and also prone to drop "bombs" whenever he's flying around the garden and neighbourhood.

I wish I had an intelligent and controlled clone I could send in to do my work today, so I can stay here and write, or watch some dvd's.

Granted. Your clone goes to work and gets things done. It is effective and efficient to the point it dismisses your love interest at work, severing any prospects of you two having a life together.

I wish I was skinny like a supermodel.

Granted. You're now a prisoner in a medieval dungeon. Hello, weight loss!

I wish I had a monkey butler.

Granted. But, the monkey has anger issues. So, whenever he gets mad he breaks your dishes and slaps you in the face and screams. The monkey won't work unless you give him at least 6 bananas per day. The monkey also actually works for someone who holds a grudge against you. So, he's working from the inside to secretly take away all of your belongings. The monkey and his owner might have more plans prepared for you.. *suspense music* Why did you let that monkey in your house? Why?

I wish I could get cured from my anaemia. Let's make it even better. I also wish for immunity to all kind of illness. So, I wouldn't be able to get sick ever again.

The monkey does this:
1. Break dish.
2. Scream-monkey style, obviously-.
3. Slap.

Monkey: What's this? You call this a banana? It's smaller than my hand!! ! I want a real big banana not this thing. This thing it's rotten and smells bad! How dare you give me this crap? I'm not an ordinary monkey, I can know when I'm given a banana, and when I'm not. This is crap!!

1. Break dish.
2. Scream.
3. Slap
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdmP4AyFB0g[/youtube]

Granted. You never get sick again. But from now on you can only eat cous cous.

I wish I had a tree that grew money.

Granted. This tree is a descendant of one that was used to produce Monopoly boards, and it grows only Monopoly money in various denominations.

I wish I could meet a hobbit.

Noooo I don't want to eat the same thing forever And, not just that

Granted. But, the hobbit is evil and has punched you....The hobbit has evil plans prepared for you. *suspense music* What those plans will be?

I wish Superman was real.

Granted...Superman is real. However, he decides that he now likes to save criminals.

I wish I had a puppy.

Granted, but your puppy is has a nasty skin infection.

I wish I felt 100%.

Granted, but no-one else does, so everyone will seem very slow and boring and off.

I wish time didn’t fly!

You accelerate to a velocity near the speed of light, so time passes for you extremely quickly compared to the people on Earth. While you are accelerated, everyone you know on Earth dies and you are left alone.

I wish that Trader Joe's never ran out of cookie butter!

Granted, but all the cookie butter has gone bad.

I wish I could take a vacation.

Granted, but you have to stay in Bates’ Motel.

I wish the battery time was better on my 3DS.

Granted! It is better, but only by about 5 mins.

I wish my eyes could take photos.