Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but after a while they’ll break.

I wish the Pokémon campaign 3DS I got for Christmas came with its own charging cable.

My eyes will break? That would be a sight.

Granted, but your 3DS breaks.

I wish nothing broke.

No! I just got it!

The camera function will break. No cam lasts forever. What your eyes will look like after that, IDK, I’ve never seen a camera eye, and I don’t know the nature of your malfunction

Granted, but you’ll tire of your stuff and wish for new things anyway.

I wish for my 3DS to not break. I got some new games I can’t put down…

Granted! It gets stolen by one of those pesky daycare kids you wish would go away.

I wish I could do things at double the speed with perfection.

Wow! That brat either worked two locks or climbed several floors and broke in that way. Either way, that’s some determined little criminal!

Granted! Everyone is now jealous of you and dislikes you for your gift.

I wish that pesky daycare kid gets struck by lightning playing my3DS.

Granted. But, you end up having an epilepsy attack as soon as you turn the nintendo ds 3d on. After that, you faint and end up unconscious. When you wake up, you find yourself inside of your favourite game. *suspense music* Will you survive in there? Will you manage to get out of there?

I wish I had a hero. Holding out for a hero. He's gotta be strong, he's gotta be fast. And he's gotta be fresh from the fight.

Granted, but the hero is me.

I wish for a life absent from fear and anxiety.

Granted but you become a bully without any compassion for others and so are heavily disliked by everyone you meet.

I wish I could visit Snoopy at his doghouse.

Granted. But, Snoopy is depressed and doesn't want to talk with anybody. He said: Try tomorrow again.
I wish I could fly.

Granted. You're a fly. Watch out for that chameleon over there, putting his tongue out at you.

I wish I could go to an Andre Rieu concert.

Granted. But you slept through the whole concert and mysteriously do not wake up until the world is nearly destroyed.

I wish that I could be good friends with my evil twin.

Granted. With your friendship your evil twin becomes mellow but you slowly take on her evil persona. Bwah hah hah!

I wish I could unsee terrible events.

Granted! You don't see them, but you still live them.

I wish I could get over this last little bit of congestion.

Granted. Your chest clears up but now you're inundated with ever stripe of pollution that doth exist.

I wish couples wouldn't break up.

Granted, but the resulting double-digit polyamorous living arrangements become onerous for all but the very rich.


I wish the general population understood basic thermodynamics, basic economics, and how the two relate to one another.

Granted, but the general population goes deaf and mute.
I wish for all those who have mistreated me and abused, to get what they truly deserve.