Corrupt A Wish

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No. I will no longer talk to you, and I'll send you a recipe for turtle soup.

I wish my corruption didn't sound so cruel.

I wish so too

Granted, it doesn't look cruel now, but only because the world has become even crueler.

I really wish I had a shell I could retreat to

I honestly feel like a jerk as I'm not a mean person.

Granted, but once again you get stuck in your shell....this time forever.

I wish for the world to be be any crueler than it already is.

Oh c’mon, don’t be like that. It’s just a game and I was merely playing on what you said. I didn’t take any of it seriously. Please don’t make me sound like someone like Percy Weasley. Besides, if you’re too sensitive it’ll be hard for me to show you my doll collection! I know you’d not wish to miss out on that.

Granted, the world doesn’t become crueler, but it doesn’t get any better either.

I wish I had a pet sloth.

Granted, but it watches you always. It follows you everywhere...even to the bathroom. While you are sleeping...the sloth watches, plotting to kill you. The sloth also plots to destroy all the turtles and octopi of the world. The sloth collects turtle shell, and brings them home by the dozens. The sloth just hates octopi for their color changing abilities, and so he wishes them extinct.

I wish sloths didn't look like the pedophiles of the animal kingdom.

Granted, they don’t. But they are though.

I wish for that particular sloth to become stew.

Granted, but then you have to eat it. Sloth stew. Doesn't that sound appetizing?!?

I wish I could see a new born polar bear. They are just precious.

Granted, you see a new born polar bear. He’s just precious. His mommy doesn’t appreciate your being there. I think she wants beef tartar.

I wish to give the sloth stew to the neighbor who hogs my mail.

Granted, but your neighbor still keeps your mail.

I wish for a nice steak dinner.

Granted! Here’s some sloth steak. Enjoy!

I wish to stop getting stuck everywhere.

Granted! Now you get lock in places, and locked out of your apartment.

I wish to never eat sloth anything.

Granted, you never eat sloth anything. Too bad American stores and restaurant will only sell/use sloth meat from this point forward. Hope you like life as a vegetarian.

I wish to never get locked in anything or get locked out of my apartment.

Granted, but you trip and fall down about every 5 minutes. So clumsy!

I wish America would make sloth meat illegal.

Granted, but they won’t sell any other meats, so now all Americans become vegetarians.

I wish to not be so clumsy.

Granted. But, everybody mysteriously becomes clumsy all of sudden. What you don't know is that someone has created a laser to make them that way....Someone's got secret plans for you. *suspense music* What will happen?

I wish to not have insomnia.

Granted, but that's because you're tired from eating sloth meat.

I wish I didn't get stuck in walls while I was invisible.