Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. Walls are not penetrable and now have no doors nor windows to pass through them.

I wish roads were not slippery in the winter.

Granted! Now roads are slippery all the time, and you have bad tires.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy right now.

Granted, you are not sleepy anymore....ever. You stay awake and begin to hallucinate due to being awake constantly.

I wish my ex-boyfriend knew how to compromise - then I might take him back.

Granted, but you realize he really wasn't worth it...and now you can't get rid of him.

I wish not to hallucinate.

Granted, you won't hallucinate. But you'll fall asleep all the time instead. You keep nodding off throughout the day, from and all situations.

I wish it was always silent around me when I am trying to focus on something.

Granted, but you find it always has to be silent to focus. You are deaf now.

I wish for some tasty cinnamon rolls right now.

Granted, someone empties a glass of cinnamon, pours water on it and form the cinnamon powder into nice rolls. There you go, tasty cinnamon rolls.

I wish I didn’t need silence to focus. It’s such a drag.

Granted! Now you can focus during any situation. You focus so much that you can't seem to ever get out of the zone. You don't eat, sleep, and you are going to the bathroom in your pants (again).

I wish the silence wasn't so eerie. I like background noise.

Again? Without valuable turtle time involved? How dare you? J/K

Granted, silence isn’t eerie, it never was There!

You don’t find silence eerie. You love it. You need it. Soon you start hearing weird stuff in the silence, and obsessed with finding out what it is you stay at home in the silence to pinpoint it. It’s all you can think of. You need to find it. You have no idea of what it is, or what to expect of the source of it, but finding it never the less becomes your only goal and interest in life.
It’s all in your mind of course so you never find it. You get drawn more and more into your own world of hallucinations and you never leave your home. You stay in the silence. But at least you love the silence now! You wouldn’t want any kind of background noise. That’s progress at least.

I wish I wasn’t so tired now.

Granted! You're not tired. You've slipped into a coma for the next 30 years. You're gonna lose lots of valuable turtle time.

I wish someone else would run my errands for me.

Granted. But that someone is someone evil, and in the least expected moment...She/he'll done something to you. *suspense music* What motives does that person have? What about the plans that that person's got for you? We'll get to know about that in the next episode. Coming soon in the best screens. Don't miss it.

I wish I won a free cruise for myself.

Granted. You have the whole cruise ship to yourself. I hope you know how to steer a ship ... and cook your own dinner ... and swab the decks, etc.

I wish I were a hip-hop dancer. A good one.

No one´s one to do all that? That´s not what I meant with free cruise.
Granted, but you´re unpopular, and you´ve got a crazy stalker who won´t leave you alone. Hehhe Didn´t you want to be a singer? You´ve got a crazy fan

No wish there, so I’ll mess up for the second last poster then.

Granted, you are a good hip hop dancer. Unfortunately you have to be bad to da bone to make it in the hip hop milieu. The only place that will hire you is a cruise ship, but once you get there you find a stressed girl and a lot of ship related work to be done. You weren’t wanted for your hip hop dancing skills. When the cruise ship crashes into dock you slip away. You are then invited to USA, and hoping this will be your break, you happily leave for the US. Once you get to NYC you get to perform with the best and you’re an instant hit. The future looks promising. If only you hadn’t fallen and broken your leg badly. It’ll heal but you will never dance like that again.

I wish to not be in a coma for 30 years.

Granted, and here's a story of my own:

Once upon a time, Skilpadde was taking a lovely walk through an enchanted forest. There, she meets a strange, old woman. The woman looks a bit dodgy, but Skilpadde isn't one to judge a book by its cover. So the two of them start talking, and the old woman offers her a nice, red, juicy apple. Now, Skilpadde knows that it's a bit odd to be offered this from someone she's just met. But Skilpadde was taught never to take candy from a stranger; fruit, she figures, is perfectly fine – and healthy. Or so she thought. One bite of the apple and Skilpadde falls into a coma that lasts for <30 years.

Eventually, Prince Charming finds Skilpadde in the woods and kisses her, waking Skilpadde from her long slumber. But instead of falling in love with Skilpadde, he is horrified to find that this beautiful corpse he found lying in the middle of a forest has, in fact, turned out to be alive. Disgusted, the necrophilic prince leaves Skilpadde in the woods, forever diminishing her respect for men and romance – and apples.

...

Hmm ... I wish that someone (who shall remain nameless ) doesn't see this post and call me out for rehashing old material.

Uhhhhhhh.......granted?

I wish that Skilpadde would tell me how many turtles she has and what kind.