Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but every child has crappy parents at home. These children grow up to crappy adults, who then end up bothering you more.

I wish to don't breathe in poisonous dust.

Well, at least they can’t get any louder!

Granted, you don’t breathe in any poisonous dust, but your oven is leaking gas, and the dust prevents you from smelling it.

I wish to have the children taken from their crappy parents and placed in good foster or adoptive homes.

It's a good thing that my oven is electric.

Granted, but as we all know, the foster system sucks.

I wish I got weekends off.

I thought you only had gas ovens in the US.

Granted, you get weekends off. Twice a year.

I wish children were always born into good and safe families who loved and wanted them, and that if anything were to happen to their parents, that the orphanages and foster system worked for the good of the children instead of being places where they were subjected to neglect and/ or abuse.

Nope.

Granted! I really wish so too.

I wish to get more than two weekends off a year.

Granted, you get one weekend off for each season.

I wish I could choose to forget some things, and likewise could choose to always remember something.

Granted, but said thing still happened.

I wish to get every weekend of the year off.

Granted, but your salary will be reduced.

I wish I could find the fossil of a never before seen species of dinosaur.

I get paid hourly, not salary.....but that really makes no difference here.

Granted, but the fossil is in horrible condition.

I wish glitter didn't exist.

Sigh, I can't get anything right today, lol.

Granted, glitter doesn't exist, but it'll make some decorations and such boring.

I wish my fossil was in good condition.

Granted, but you accidentally drop your precious fossil out of a helicopter and it falls into a volcano. Gone forever!

I wish for a cure for dementia.

Granted, there is a cure for dementia. I wish there were… The elderly should get to go out with dignity. And their next of kin shouldn’t have to see them lose who they are.

I wish to never fly over a volcano. That’s always a bad idea, according to the movies.

Oh, the movies. That's not real life!

Granted! You don't fly over any volcanoes, but you do fly over a nuclear explosion.

I also wish for a cure for type 1 diabetes.

No, IRL everyone onboard would die! I’m trusting the movies on this one.

Granted, but you won’t get a cure for type 1 diabetes without also getting one for type 2 diabetes.

I wish to not fly over (or under) a nuclear explosion. In fact, I wish to never be anywhere near one. (I wonder how many nuclear nightmares I've had?)

Not if the volcano isn't active.

Granted, but now you're actually in one.

I wish people would stop pronouncing the word "creek" like "crick". Seriously people! There is a double 'e'.

Yeah, that’s true.

Granted, now they get ideas from how the ending of the name Renée is usually pronounced in English, so now they say ‘crayk’. Much better!

I wish to not be in a nuclear explosion.