Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, the ‘It’ song is Friday. Now Rebecca Black’s “hit” is played everywhere. Enjoy! It’s Friday, Friday…

I wish for Norway to get overrun with turtles without the turtles being run over by cars.

No.

Granted, but are single-handedly responsible for them all. No one else in Norway cares about turtles.

I wish for Skilpadde to be subjected to hours of Barney and Friends, for bringing up that terrible song that almost ruined by favorite day of the week.

How mean! Granted, but Skilpadde will be scarred for life and burning for revenge.

I wish for Shikari to be forced to listen to Barney and Rebecca sing for an entire day for making Skilpadde listen to Barney and Friends for hours on end.

Granted, but Shikari can fall asleep during anything.

I wish Skilpadde was not seeking revenge on me.

No fair!

Granted, but Skilpadde is so messed up after hours of Barney that she tries to cut her ears off and is committed. Skilpadde will spend the rest of her days rocking in a corner, muttering unintelligibly about “purple” and “friendship songs”.

I wish for someone to prod Shikari awake so she’ll get to enjoy all of Barney’s and Rebecca’s show.

Granted, but Shikari can just go right back to sleep with no problem.

I wish that the strong winds that are expected soon don't cause any power outages because it may get really cold again later.

Granted, there won’t be any power outages, but the temperatures will reach – 40 C, so you’ll still be an icicle.

I wish I hadn’t slept so poorly.

Granted! You slept so well that you wet your bed, and never even knew.

I wish to never experience such cold temperatures.

Granted. Welcome to the Australian Outback. If the >40 °C temperatures don't kill you, the local wildlife just might.

I wish I could write beautiful poetry.

Granted, but whenever your poetry is fresh in your mind, you're not in a position to write it all down. like when you're driving a car etc. when you do have a chance to write it down you forget everything.

I wish traveling overseas wasn't so expensive.

Granted! I wish that too.

I wish Youtube didn't have ads.

Granted, but now they become pay-per-view.
(Seriously, you should install Ad-Block. It has vastly improved my online life.)

I wish to never wet my bed again (grrr!). It sufficed to do so in my childhood.

Haha. Okay, so I forgot that I corrupted your wish yesterday by having you wet your bed. When I saw your wish, I was all like "whaaat?"

Granted. You have the runs. You got crap everywhere.

I wish the alarm system in my car didn't have a short in it. Now the alarm randomly goes off when it's cold outside.

…

Granted, it doesn’t currently have a short in it, but it will start going off when you’re driving. Doesn't that sound like fun?

I wish to not have the runs either.

Granted! Everyone wishes that.

I wish my student loans would magically disappear.

Granted, it magically disappears when Anonymous hacks the bank, but in doing so they infected your computer with a program that makes it part of the network that helps them overload sites.

I wish food pills existed.