Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but they are the size of walnuts. Don't choke.

I wish my stomach wasn't so upset right now...I feel blah.

Granted but now your organs are upset with you instead. “I keep cleaning your blood, but do I even get a thanks?” mutter the kidneys, and the liver agrees. “I filter everything and what do I get for it?” And so on. I think you’re gonna have to sweet talk them.

I wish I was the most powerful person in Norway.

Granted! Your new found power has caught the attention of world leaders. They make you the enemy. Watch yourself.

I wish my organs knew I much I appreciate their constant hard work.

Granted, they know, but it makes them conceited.

I wish I could discover a new species of turtle.

Granted, but this new turtle species is extremely venomous. Who would have thought.

I wish my organs weren't so conceited.

Granted, now your organs lack confidence.

Whoa, a venomous turtle? I wish for there to not be venomous turtles.

Granted, but the new turtle species breathes fire like a dragon.

I wish my organs would get it together.

Granted. Now your tissue (muscles, nerves, connective, epithelium) start muttering. “Yeah, the organs get praise and recognition, but we’re like nothing?” and “I’d like to see her get by without us!”

Wow! A fire breathing turtle! How cool! (Well, until it flames me.) I wish for the turtle species to not breathe fire like a dragon.

Haha....this is getting weird.

Granted. Now these turtles spit like llamas.

I wish my muscles, tissue, and everything else in my body would stop being jealous.

lol, yeah, a bit!

Huh, Nikita kinda did spit actually. When she ate she squirted water from her mouth so the floor got small puddles! Really. It was water though. I sometimes called her Spyttnik (spytt means spit) because of that.

Granted, they all stop being jealous, but now all your inanimate objects get jealous.

I wish the turtles wouldn’t spit. It’s so much nicer with animals who don’t.

Granted! Now they all pee like race horses.

I wish for inanimate objects to not have any sort of feelings.

Granted, but now they can get sick. Wood pox, plastic measles, cotton fever, there are so many diseases out there they can get.

I wish for the turtles to have less active bladders (while remaining healthy).

Bahaha! Whaat!?!

Granted, but they poop every 3 seconds.

I wish inanimate objects wouldn't get sick.

Now there’s a sentence I bet you never thought you’d utter

Granted, but now your home itself becomes sick. It develops a bad case of Shikaridae Allergitis. Your home is allergic to you! Oh no! It itches and sneezes and is about to go into anaphylactic shock.

I wish the turtles would poop more seldom (while still remaining healthy).

There actually is this thing called "Sick Building Syndrome." It's when a building itself is unhealthy for the occupants. Mold, dust, allergens, etc. I thought I'd share that.

I wish my home wasn't allergic to me.

Granted, but the new turtle species you found only live a total of 3 weeks.

I’d never heard of that syndrome before so I had to google it. I knew house mold can cause sickness and that poor air quality inside can lead to headaches etc, but I didn’t know that term. Thx!

Granted, now you’re the one who is allergic. You can no longer be around oxygen! Whatever shall you do??

How sad! I wish for the turtles to live longer than 3 weeks.