Corrupt A Wish

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Really? Oh. Do you want me to give ya another week?

Granted, you see the baby. The baby doesn’t take to you at first and cries whenever you try to hold it. Then it changes its mind and finds you are the only babysitter it will accept. Every time they need someone to look after the baby, you’re it. You get chicken pox from the child, which makes you much sicker than if you had been a child.

I certainly wish things didn’t taste like dirt. I’m pretty sure I can do without finding out what dirt taste like.

I guess it's a good thing I had the chicken pox when I was less than two years old then.

Granted, but you develop pica and start eating cigarette ashes. That can't be healthy.

I wish to not have to be the one who has to babysit her all the time.

It’s very rare but you can actually get chicken pox twice. (I don’t mean shingles.)

Granted, you’re not the one who has to babysit all the time, but she’d prefer that, so when you don’t she’ll pout whenever you don’t and give you the silent treatment, and when she finally talks to you again will ask “Why don’t you wanna spend time with me?”

I wish to not eat cigarette ashes, and to not have pica at all.

Yeah, I know that, but I've been exposed to chicken pox so many times since then. I don't think I'll get it twice.

Granted. No pica, but you get addicted to sniffing gasoline (petrol).

I wish that baby girl wouldn't be so moody.

Granted, she’ll consistently not like you.

I wish to never get addicted to sniffing petrol, which admittedly I do like the smell of.

I actually like the smell too.

Granted. You get obsessed cats instead. You discover you like them after all. You bring home every cat you find. You have now acquired 97 cats. You are officially the crazy cat lady.

I wish that she or anyone else wouldn't consistently not like me.

Glad it’s not just me! I was on a bus once and there was something wrong with it and it smelled of gasoline in the bus. So many people complained about it and some claimed to feel sick. I liked it.

Granted, she’ll always like you. Everyone else will like you one day, hate you the next, be indifferent the third etc without anything leading up to it. It’ll be very tiresome to figure out what mood the current day’s mood is every day.

I wish to not be the crazy cat lady, and I don’t want a single cat.

Granted, Your no longer crazy and own no cats, BUT, now you ARE a cat and you have a cat for a mate.. and you don't have just a single cat around, but many, even though you don't own them.



I wish I could travel the stars.

Granted. You're burnt to a crisp which spawns a snack food brand "Mutantt-crispp!"

I wish the fruit to taste like liver again. I love liver.

Granted, your taste buds are all screwed up now, and EVERYTHING tastes like liver to you now and forever more.


I wish for no one to post a comment after me on this thread.

Granted, but soon forget your request and this thread goes on.

I wish I had three eyes. The two in front and one in the back of my head.

Granted, but then everyone will think you're a monster, and run from the sight of you.

I wish I could ski like an Olympian.

Granted, you can ski like an Olympian. An Olympian out of Greek mythology that is. I’ve never read a single myth where they skied.

Granted, you are surrounded by people all.the.time! No escaping! Not even for a second.

I wish I could ski like a real life modern Olympic skier.

Granted, you can ski like a modern Olympic-skier. Due to global warming you don’t get to use your ski skills. Snow is no more.

I wish to not be surrounded by people all the time!

They can make fake snow.

Granted, but you are now being interrogated. They torment you with bowls of turtle soup and liver to make you talk.

I wish for rain instead of snow over the next couple of days.