Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. The past has now changed and you had neater handwriting 10 years ago, but it is now worse than before.

I wish I could sleep through the whole night.

Granted. You turn into Rip Van Winkle and sleep for 20 years straight. At least you will sleep through the night.

I wish all autoplaying of videos on web sites were completely banned.

Granted. But now no video works at all on any site.

I wish I had a street legal Batmobile

Granted: As you go back, you disrupted the time stream and in order for it to be fix, you cease to exist.

I wish for a turkey sandwich.

The disruption in the time stream also eliminated turkey sandwiches, so to grant your wish, it will have to be made by Emily Dickinson, who makes terrible turkey sandwiches, over and over again, forever.


I wish mosquitoes didn't like the way I taste.

Granted, They now excrete another painful liquid to hide the flavor to your blood while they still bite you.

I wish cell phones would automatically be disabled inside all moving vehicles.

Granted. Of course, vehicles are always moving with respect to the center of the Earth, and phones can?t really tell whether they?re inside a vehicle or not, so, just in case, they?re disabled permanently. Good luck dealing with that huge crowd of enraged phone owners.

I wish I had known three days ago why that damn line was so determined to have the wrong slope.

Granted, but no one could hear you when you tried to tell them.


I wish I wasn't the last one to know when weird social stuff happens.

Grated. Now you are next to last. A ghost starts to haunt you who always figures it out 5 seconds after you do.

I wish this upcoming FEMA training wasn't in Alabama. In August. Where I'll have to be in a full decontamination suit.

Granted. it is in July, so you will have to take a time machine to attend it. you also have to be naked.

i wish i was air.

Granted, sort of. Unfortunately the wish granting genie thought you said "hair" and now you are on Ted Nugent's face.

I wish Candyland came with candy.

Granted. Ants sense this and they now have infested the game and everything around it.

I wish mint candy was accepted as currency as coins are minted.

Granted, but kids are now becoming candy store robbers.

I wish my moustache would stop growing ? it's annoying having to trim it constantly.

granted. your mustache has stopped growing.
now all the hair-growing energy is transferred to your palms.

i wish i was a hydrogen molecule.

Granted. The rest of the world explodes from the process used to convert you. And the doctor isn't here to save it.
You murderer.

I wish I could think of a more creative wish.