Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You are chased from your home by the denizens of a Hungarian convent with torches and pitchforks owing to your Hebraic leanings.

I wish I had the equivalent of a dog whistle for police.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

it's been granted. you now live one day less.

i wish tonight never happened either.

granted, then you're a few hours younger, but will pay it by one double morning, which will repeat itself twice.

I wish there was free carambola for everyone.

Granted. In its' cessation to have happened in the first place tonight collapses in terms of space as well as time. Since several posts ago this thread has been moved to the other side of tonight's event horizon. What can mods do about that anyway? (just had to post this one, you two are fast)

Granted, we all drown in carambola.

I wish all government employees woke up tomorrow as anarchists.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

carambola

granted. they're 18 year old punks who ditch class to vape behind the stadium and work at sears, reluctantly. (true story)

(not me)

i wish i had a taste for crabapples.

granted, you become so enchanted by crabapples you do nothing all day but eat them and make dazzling sculptures in their honour and so you end up broke.

i wish we had carambola here

Granted. All the crabapples you could ever want are in my front yard (true story), you'd just need a ripe case of holy hand grenades to keep your share away from all the rabbits.

I wish the rabbits in my front yard knew some amusing tricks.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

granted! all the rabbits in your back yard can sing best hits from all the top country singers

I wish i had a time machine and could stop myself from ruining things.

Nooo! The only country I like comes from Ivan Mladek & (occasionally) Johnny Cash. All the country hits where country was invented have been terrible as long as I've been alive.

Granted. Before the novelty of time travel wears off, there are no locked threads at all on WP.

I wish my line dancing rabbits would make peace with my cat.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

that's granted, and your cat opens his own line dancing troupe with the neighborhood strays to compete with that of your rabbits. your cat's troupe gets better reviews. and becomes the official group that represents the thai army in wartime.


i wish i could finish my conlangs already.

granted...and now you're so famous groupies follow and attack you everywhere!

I wish I could return to 4th of December last year and prevent myself from ruining ensuing months.

Granted: On December 4 2014, Booyakasha merges two distinct universes, thus retroactively inducing merge conflicts on every server in the world, among other things. WP turns light beige and reverts to unicode.

I wish I were psycho-kinetic.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Granted, and now you became chronically obese since you stopped moving in order to reach for the objects

I wish I was like Data in every way.