Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You have lost all memory of your life after 17 and have created a loop-hole in time.

I wish I'm gonna get a girlfriend soon.

granted - she shows up at 2 in the morning with all her luggage (she intends to move in with you and she's already convinced your parents), she takes a chair and stares at you while you sleep, filming you at the same time, analyzing your sleep patterns as to judge when is the best time to give you stimuli to tweak your dreams.

i wish alex finds a suitable dev partner/big fixer soon

Granted. It will be too costly.

I wish those offering "shock therapy" would get shocked instead.

granted, they're so shocked they forgot the meaning of the word "shock".

I wish memories could be erased.

Granted. It replaces with a fake memory thats 3 times more horrible that the one you erased.

I wish I had a PS4

you've been granted the ps4. with no controller, memory, or games.

i wish i had the guts to shave.

lol...granted...now all the adherents of your beard lose the purpose in life.

I wish groceries would shop themselves today.

Granted. They eat themselves just afterward.

I wish the stars would shine in daytime too.

Granted. The additional light burns everyone's retinas and the additional solar radiation causes increased sunburns and speeds global warming by 1 million percent. Everyone in the world is blind and burning to death under an admittedly beautiful sky.

I wish it was 85 degrees outside every day.

(You all know what's coming ...)

Granted. From now on, it will be 85 degrees Celsius (185 °F) outside everyday. Indeed, everyone in the world is burning to death under an admittedly beautiful – and scorching hot – sky.

I wish the US would adopt the metric system.

NASA uses metric...in higher education and high school, it's almost universal in the sciences, my HS chemistry teacher vocally derided the use of imperial in class.

and there's this:



also, granted. you are not firmly decided on a wish that you will not be able to change your own mind in future posts.

i wish the observable universe was bigger to warrant measurements larger than gigaparsecs.

Granted. The universe expands and the voids are all filled with black holes. Can't fight everything being sucked into them.

I wish Mars was inhabitable for humans.

granted, humans can live on mars without any additional life-support. any environment-wrecking processes practiced on earth are transferred to mars, accelerated, magnified and within a few generations the martian landscape and atmosphere is wrecked and the planet will have to be abandoned.

i wish gravity could not bend light.

granted, gravity lost its grip on the space time continuum, and we're now flat beings living in two-dimensional universe.

I wish I was Albert Einstein.

Granted. You died.

I wish I was Noam Chomsky.