What's Your Line?

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"No! No! No! How many times have we been through this? We've got to learn from our mistakes. There will be no air ducts big enough for hero-sized people to crawl through. It's just asking for trouble."

Evil Emperor Zurg in Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

Xena: [to the vision of Gabrielle] Are you a demon? Or my own mind made mad?
Gabrielle: [as a vision] I am the truth of who you are. Our souls are united, Xena.
Beowulf: Xena? Xena, are you all right?
Xena: Yes. This Gabrielle truly loved Xena, didn't she?
Beowulf: And will till the end of time. Gabrielle saved you from what you were, as you must now save her.

"Xena: Warrior Princess"

General Brown: "So they started doing psy-research because they thought we were doing psy-research, when in fact we weren't doing psy-research?"

Brigadier General Dean Hopgood: "Yes, sir. But now that they are doing psy-research, we're gonna have to do psy-research, sir."

The Men Who Stare at Goats.

Gabrielle: I dreamed you'd come back for me.
Xena: It was like I was in a dream, too. I forgot everything. But even though I didn't remember you, I felt your presence, and knew that I would never be complete unless those shadows were brought into the light.

"Xena: Warrior Princess"

Pierre Bezukhov: You can't hate something you've never known or understood.

War and Peace.

Gabrielle: Another one's fallen for you.
Xena: Again? What is it?
Gabrielle: Oh, the blue eyes... the leather. Men love leather.
Xena: I think it's time for a wardrobe change.
Gabrielle: Yeah. You could try wearing chainmail.
Xena: Nah. That'd just attract a kinkier group.

"Xena: Warrior Princess"

Xena: [to Lucifer] You don't mind if I call Luci, do you?

"Xena: Warrior Princess"

"I am his wife. His Polish wife."

Marie Walewska in Napoleon and Love.

Mother Maria: The Lions.

Sister Gertrude: Ya.

Mother Maria: The Elks.

Sister Gertrude: Ya.

Mother Maria: The Order of Moose.

Sister Gertrude: Ya.

Mother Maria: Kiwanis, what kind of animal is that?

Sister Gertrude: American.

"Lilies of the Field"

"What a time two toucans have making love. When they're beak-to-beak, they can't get cheek-to-cheek, because when one toucan turns his head, only one toucan can."

Narrator in The Three Caballeros.

Warrant Officer Warrick: "Put that cigarette out! The mains have gone, can't you smell gas?"

Section Officer Maggie Harvey: "Don't you yell at me, MR. Warrick!"

Battle of Britain.

Buzz Lightyear: "This diabolical plot can only be the work of the sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance. Evil Emperor Zurg!"

Warp Darkmatter: "What plot?! You think Zurg is behind every kitten stuck up a tree!"

Buzz Lightyear: "The fiend! Why can't he leave kitty cats out of his nefarious schemes?"

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

Mr. Ashton: Say, where'd you get all the material?

Juan: The people give them, Senor.

Mr. Ashton: What for?

Juan: A man, he gives wood... bricks. In time, what does he get? A chapel... a place where his children can receive the sacraments. To these men, for their children to have faith, it is important.

Mr. Ashton: Is that why you're here?

Juan: To me, it is insurance. To me, life is here on this earth. I cannot see further, so I cannot believe further. But, if they are right about the hereafter, I have paid my insurance, Senor.

"Lilies of the Field"

"As the 19th century began, a darkening shadow moved across the face of Europe. This shadow was propelled by the voice of one man: Napoleon Bonapart. Only Britain and Russian offered impressive resistance. In Russia, the weather was clear, the sun was shining, Napoleon was a thousand miles away, and the streets of Moscow were excellent for parades."

War and Peace.

Joxer: You know the enemy of my enemy is often considered my friend.
Xena: [exasperated] Joxer...
[pauses and looks at Lycos and Menos]
Xena: Go ahead.
Joxer: [surprised] Really?
Xena: Go ahead.
Joxer: Yeah but you don't eve... I knew this would happen someday, you and me on the same wavelength, two great minds, one thought.
Gabrielle: Only half a wit.

"Xena: Warrior Princess"

Perry's Wife: "MY HUSBAND HAS A GUN!"

Arthur: "I'm sure he does, madam. For all I know, he shot it while you screamed."

Arthur.