Corrupt A Wish

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You're 20'0"

I wish the internet was free of trolls.

All the trolls die. The Internet is now boring and nobody uses it anymore.
I wish humans had never existed.

Granted. Humans never existed, so they didn't make urban environments for cockroaches to thrive in by excluding most of their predators and competitors. Instead, a species of civilized frogs emerges, decides cockroaches are a delicacy and eats 'em all

I wish I could find a potato that would grow into a plant with flowers.

You find one. However, the flowers of this plant smell horrible, because they are pollinated by flies.
I wish I was a Jedi.

Granted. You are a Jedi but you also have cancer.

I wish I had a Zeppelin.

You get one, but it is filled with H2 instead of He. It catches fire and burns your house to the ground.
I wish I was friends with Michael Jordan.

You are friends with Michael Jordan but he's totally better than you at basketball, making you look bad in comparison.

I wish I was Mandrake the Magician.

You accidentally do a magic trick that creates a mini black hole, which sinks to the center of the Earth and eats it in a few years.
I wish Greece wasn't bankrupt.

I wish so too.

Okay, back to the game.

Greece isn't bankrupt, because the rest of the EU bailed it out. Now the entire EU region is in the same situation.

I wish I could get one day where I could order the books, games and DVDs I wanted for free.

You do that, the stock is depleted and the shop goes bankrupt, just like Greece.
I wish I had a supercar.

You have a brand new super car! It's a super fast, super durable, super smooth ride with a super-intelligent AI at the helm so you don't even need to steer! In fact, it's SO super that it surpasses you in every way imaginable. It drives off to Hollywood to become a super successful movie star/musician/lawyer/governor/philanthropist billionaire superhero, leaving you behind.

I wish I was the undisputed god-emperor of the space-time continuum.

Granted. You become the Overseer from Fallout 3 and are killed by the protagonist of the game.
I wish I was Vlad the Impaler.

You are now Vlad the Impaler! Now all will tremble before your gory might as you skewer your enemies on wooden spikes!

Or you would, if you hadn't been dead for centuries.

I wish I had the power to read minds.

Granted. You can now read people's minds, but this consumes too much energy and you brain catches fire.
I wish I was Attila the Hun.

You're Attila the Hun now. After many amazing conquests, you return home to plot your assault on Constantinople only to die from excessive internal bleeding.

I wish for true love.

You get true love, but all good things must come to an end. Then you wish you had never had true love.
I wish to become an activist like Alex.