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Cockroach96
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29 Sep 2015, 1:29 pm

Granted, but now they grow so tall that you can't reach the apples anymore.
I wish I had a lightsaber.


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glebel
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29 Sep 2015, 1:31 pm

Granted, but seeing as how you are a cockroach and have no arms, you can't wield it.

I wish I was tall enough to pick the apples from my overgrown trees.


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Cockroach96
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29 Sep 2015, 1:35 pm

You're tall enough, but now you are too unstable to stand up.
I wish I was a cop.


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Spiderpig
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29 Sep 2015, 1:45 pm

Granted. You’re the only cop in a crime-ridden city. Enjoy!

I wish I had already moved from where I’m now.


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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


KTLLo
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05 Oct 2015, 7:15 am

Granted. But you landed on the sun.

I wish to have a bigger home



kraftiekortie
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05 Oct 2015, 10:03 am

Granted you have a bigger home

But I want a smaller mortgage.



glebel
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05 Oct 2015, 12:37 pm

Granted. You now live in a cardboard box.

I wish that the gophers would stay out of my garden.


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Spiderpig
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06 Oct 2015, 3:55 pm

Granted. It’s the 21st century—Gopher belongs to the past. Instead, you have a huge web which extends throughout your garden, barely letting you move around, and grows faster than you can remove it.

I wish I weren’t stuck in a cycle of wasting my time because I don’t have the time to think what I’m doing with my life.


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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


glebel
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06 Oct 2015, 4:26 pm

Granted. But now you're stuck in the spin cycle of a washer.

I wish it would start snowing.


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When everyone is losing their heads except you, maybe you don't understand the situation.


Cockroach96
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10 Oct 2015, 12:42 pm

Now the snow is 10 meters high.
I wish I was a dog.


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Strapples
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29 Oct 2015, 3:31 pm

granted but you are a one legged dog

i want more straps on me


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When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:

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CLASSIC AUTISM


Kiprobalhato
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29 Oct 2015, 3:37 pm

your eyelids are strapped to your cheeks, but they are still straps.


i wish i was Kip.


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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


Murihiku
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01 Nov 2015, 8:04 am

Granted. But now people think it's cute to start calling you "Kipples" or "Kippy Long Stockings" ... or something equally inane.

I wish I had dreadlocks.


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It is easy to go down into Hell;
Night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide;
But to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air –
There's the rub, the task.


– Virgil, The Aeneid (Book VI)


glebel
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01 Nov 2015, 11:27 am

Granted, but they get infested with fleas.

I wish I had a better truck.


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Kiprobalhato
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01 Nov 2015, 5:49 pm

your truck runs like a charm, but it has a personality so abrasive it drives you halfway to tears.


i wish i had green eyes.


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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


glebel
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02 Nov 2015, 11:26 am

Granted, but they glow in the dark and scare the crap out of people.

I wish it would snow.


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When everyone is losing their heads except you, maybe you don't understand the situation.