Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but in spit of your knowledge you can only do the worst thing in every situation.

I wish had a bottle with a genie in it.

Granted. The genie is a master at corrupting wishes though.

I wish I could go to a parallel dimension.

Granted, the parallel dimension smells worst than anything you can possibly imagine.

I wish my ex would die so that I could have full custody of my children.

Granted, but you only have them for a day before someone accuses you of killing your ex.

I wish my favourite character was real.

Granted, but it turns out the character is nowhere near as likable as they came off when they were fictional, and you are disappointed.

I wish holodecks were real.

Granted, but there is a but in every program and the main character tries to kill you.

I wish I could earn a comfortable living by just reading the books I want to read.

Granted, but you become afflicted with a case of severe dyslexia that makes reading extremely difficult.

I wish I could earn a comfortable living by posting on WP.

Granted, but the glitches and bugs get increasingly worse, making you very frustrated.

I wish I could make a living by playing the games I like.

Granted, but the games are real, so if you die in the game, you die in real life.

I wish once again that Donald Trump would not win.

Granted. The election ends in a tie and they can't agree on who will be elected president. A new American civil war ensues.

I wish I could live in the world of Animal Crossing.

Granted! Pitfall seeds are everywhere, and (instert town name here) is anarchy, with ony two residents that hate each other.

I wish it was summer again so I could go swimming again.

Granted, it is summer again where you live now. But the geological shifts needed move the surface of the earth caused so many disasters that is pretty much back to stone/early bronze age for the world.

I wish I have unlimited access to the Vatican archives.

Granted. You are forever confined to the archive room.

I wish my backache would go away.

Granted, you now slither like a snake and have coil-ache!

I wish the moon was something else other than a pale circle, it frustrates me.

Wish granted, the moon now is shaped like a rectangle and is inhabited by face-huggers.

I wish The X Files would give sequels to the episodes that was too open ended and give those episodes proper endings.

Granted, but all your favourite characters get killed off in those sequels, to be replaced with flat and uninteresting characters.

I wish I could get more of the book I'm writing done.