Corrupt A Wish

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Not granted. You still don't have aracnophobia, instead you have acracnophilia, your entire house is filled with spiders, thousands of spiders everywhere and they're all really creepy.

I wish I could lose a few pounds

Granted, you do lose a few pounds, but while you're working them pounds off at the gym, you accidentally step on a doomsday device and trigger the end of the world.

I wish my knee didn't hurt.

Granted. Your other knee hurts instead.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but someone catches you and traps you in a zoo to perform for people.

I wish it wasn't raining.

granted. hail is now falling, the size of golf balls.

i wish cats could compose neoclassical symphonies.

Granted but they put all human symphonies to shame and the cats are really smug about it.

I wish the world would end.

Granted, but your mind is left to float in nothingness for all of eternity.

I wish my laptop didn't need to be charged.

Granted. Your laptop now has a non-rechargable battery that must be replaced when it goes flat.

I wish I was an officer in the fashion police.

Granted, but people are so upset that you arrest them for their outfits that they protest at your door at midnight and burn down your house.

I wish I could understand science.

granted. you now are so caught up in unraveling the mysteries of the universe you forget basic sustenance and you starve to death while reading about the probability of self aware beings arising out of a state of chaos.

i wish i was king of WP.

Granted. You are now the the king of WP. You are executed in the revolution. WP is now a republic.

I wish my body had wheels.

granted. you now have wheels, and a manual transmission. you can't get out of first yourself, so you need to have someone follow you constantly to shift your gears if you want to go any faster than a slow shuffle.


i wish i could take pictures with my eyes.

Granted. You take a picture every time you blink. The pictures are stored in your brain, and they clog up your brain so much that there's no room for any more thoughts.

I wish I felt more comfortable in social situations.

granted. you are now so comfortable around others, you treat them as if they are your best friend you have known your whole life, telling them stories about very personal things and creeping them out.

i wish i was alex.

You're Alex, but...

Granted. It's July, but it's still cold and snowy outside.

I wish people would always be nice to one another.