Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but your feet hurt all the time now.

I wish for new furniture

Granted, but its all made of yak hair.

I wish I could control people's minds.

Granted, but you make they hug kittens and stuff.

I wish OWA Loved me.

Granted that I don't know what OWA stands for. Granted, but not sure of what I granted. (I think I signed a contract without reading the fine print.) .)


I want Petey bird to be healthy again.

Your bird is healthy, but he poops everywhere.

I wish i ha a machine that could teleport me wherever I wanted to go.

Granted, but it malfunctions in mid-teleport and you don't rematerialize and you die.

I wish that the Imperium's enemies were vanquished.

Vanquished but they came back and kill you.

I wish I had a fanged snake that never hurt anyone.

Granted but out of fear somebody kills it.

I wish the prices of gasoline wasn't so high.

Granted, but they are rotten and infested with insect larvae and bacteria.

I wish that my new medication didn't give me a wicked headache last night and that it didn't wake me up at 0345 with the heebie jeebies to the point I never did go back to sleep.

Granted... but you still remember it even though it never happened.

I wish I had a spaceship.

Granted, but it asplodes.

I wish that I had a girlfriend who was so madly in love with me.

Granted, but she will be so madly in love with you it'll be insane.


I want my stepdad to stop being a selfish control freak.

Granted, but now you have to get a job at Wal-Mart to support him.

I wish to not have to go to professional communication courses to work on my interpersonal skills.

Granted, but you get killed because of a miscommunication.


I wish God had killed Adam, Eve and the snake.

granted, but now you have destroyed the entire human race

I wish I made sense today!

Granted...err...I mean...what did you say?

I wish I was not so freaking funny!