PRIZE MACHINE

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You receive a long family letter detailing how Susie won the Nobel peace prize for curing cancer while still in Kindergarten , how little Johnny spoke his first word at three weeks old, and is now writing Presidential speeches at 6 months. Mr. Bragsalot just got his one MILLIONTH promotion at his company where his boss just CAN'T wipe his own ass without him, and well, you know me, Mrs. Bragsalot, I don't do much just run the kids to and from their appointments, make Mr. Bragsalot his daily lunch, run the local orphanage, take care of our 600 rescue animals, volunteer for the National Guard, and sit at the right hand of God on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Too bad your family will never be as good as ours.

*inserts barf bag*

You receive the Nobel prize for literature.

*Inserts a publishers contract*

You get Kitten's first book-- "1001 Things to Do With Pork Product Outside the Kitchen"

*inserts autograph*

As for the machine...

AHHHHHH, BLBLBLBLBLBBLBLBLLBBLBLBLBL--AND IT'S NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN ALL ITS LIFE! WHOOOOOOOA! OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH! Ha ha ha ha ha. Fooled ya.

(inserts COINOINOINOINOIN)

You receive an echo.

*Inserts some pork crackling*

You get a notice to please keep the noise down.

*inserts some Baconnaise*

Baconnaise eh? You receive a reconstituted pig based on all the pork products that have been inserted into the machine over the last few months. Unfortunately it didn't have a diagram of a pig to work to so it used a model of a Tyrannosaurus Rex as the design plan.

*inserts some running shoes*

You get a medal for outrunning a T-Rex!! *da-da-daaaaa*

*inserts plastic toy soldiers*

You receive some plastic explosive under your desk!

*inserts a detonator*

The machine morphs into Gabby Goat, and gives you an angry beating. YOU JUST LOST THE GAME.

(Inserts half-dollar)

You receive a goatee beard.

*inserts quarter*

You have received a billy goat.

*inserts quarter*

You received a quarter named Billy!
* inserts a dime named Ava *

You recieve a banana.. telephone!

*coin*

You have received an edible cell phone shaped like a banana.

*inserts quarter*

You received french fries!

*Inserts chicken nugget*