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No this Paine is old school - got Common Sense and you about get it ALL.

THE WRITINGS

OF

THOMAS PAINE

COLLECTED AND EDITED BY

MONCURE DANIEL CONWAY

VOLUME I.

1774 - 1779


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XIX.

THE AMERICAN CRISIS


Table of Contents

Editor's Preface

The Crisis No. I

The Crisis No. II - To Lord Howe

The Crisis No. III

The Crisis No. IV

The Crisis No. V - To General Sir William Howe
- To The Inhabitants Of America

The Crisis No. VI - To The Earl Of Carlisle, General Clinton, And
William Eden, ESQ., British Commissioners At New York

The Crisis No. VII - To The People Of England

The Crisis No. VIII - Addressed To The People Of England

The Crisis No. IX - The Crisis Extraordinary - On the Subject
of Taxation

The Crisis No. X - On The King Of England's Speech
- To The People Of America

The Crisis No. XI - On The Present State Of News
- A Supernumerary Crisis (To Sir Guy Carleton.)

The Crisis No. XII - To The Earl Of Shelburne

The Crisis No. XIII - On The Peace, And The Probable Advantages
Thereof

A Supernumerary Crisis - (To The People Of America)

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THE AMERICAN CRISIS.

EDITOR'S PREFACE.

THOMAS PAINE, in his Will, speaks of this work as The American
Crisis, remembering perhaps that a number of political pamphlets had
appeared in London, 1775-1776, under general title of " The Crisis."
By the blunder of an early English publisher of Paine's writings, one
essay in the London " Crisis " was attributed to Paine, and the error
has continued to cause confusion. This publisher was D. I. Eaton, who
printed as the first number of Paine's " Crisis " an essay taken from
the London publication. But his prefatory note says: " Since the
printing of this book, the publisher is informed that No. 1, or first
Crisis in this publication, is not one of the thirteen which Paine
wrote, but a letter previous to them." Unfortunately this correction
is sufficiently equivocal to leave on some minds the notion that
Paine did write the letter in question, albeit not as a number of his
" Crisis " ; especially as Eaton's editor unwarrantably appended the
signature " C. S.," suggesting " Common Sense." There are, however,
no such letters in the London essay, which is signed " Casca." It was
published August , 1775, in the form of a letter to General Gage, in
answer to his Proclamation concerning the affair at Lexington. It was
certainly not written by Paine. It apologizes for the Americans for
having, on April I9, at Lexington, made " an attack upon the King's
troops from behind walls and lurking holes." The writer asks : " Have
not the Americans been driven to this frenzy? Is it not common for an
enemy to take every advantage ? " Paine, who was in America when the
affair occurred at Lexington, would have promptly denounced Gage's
story as a falsehood, but the facts known to every one in America
were as yet not before the London writer. The English " Crisis "
bears evidence throughout of having been written in London. It
derived nothing from Paine, and he derived nothing from it, unless
its title, and this is too obvious for its origin to require
discussion. I have no doubt, however, that the title was suggested by
the English publication, because Paine has followed its scheme in
introducing a " Crisis Extraordinary." His work consists of thirteen
numbers, and, in addition to these, a " Crisis Extraordinary "and a "
Supernumerary Crisis." In some modern collections all of these have
been serially numbered, and a brief newspaper article added, making
sixteen numbers. But Paine, in his Will, speaks of the number as
thirteen, wishing perhaps, in his characteristic way, to adhere to
the number of the American Colonies, as he did in the thirteen ribs
of his iron bridge. His enumeration is therefore followed in the
present volume, and the numbers printed successively, although other
writings intervened.

The first " Crisis " was printed in the Pennsylvania Journal,
December 19, 1776, and opens with the famous sentence, " These are
the times that try men's souls"; the last " Crisis "appeared April
19,1783, (eighth anniversary of the first gun of the war, at
Lexington,) and opens with the words, " The times that tried men's
souls are over." The great effect produced by Paine's successive
publications has been attested by Washington and Franklin, by every
leader of the American Revolution, by resolutions of Congress, and by
every contemporary historian of the events amid which they were
written. The first " Crisis " is of especial historical interest. It
was written during the retreat of Washington across the Delaware, and
by order of the Commander was read to groups of his dispirited and
suffering soldiers. Its opening sentence was adopted as the watchword
of the movement on Trenton, a few days after its publication, and is
believed to have inspired much of the courage which won that victory,
which, though not imposing in extent, was of great moral effect on
Washington's little army.



THE CRISIS

I.

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the
sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of
their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and
thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered;
yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict,
the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem
too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.
Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would
be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be
highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has
declared that she has a right (not only to TAX) but "to BIND us in
ALL CASES WHATSOEVER," and if being bound in that manner, is not
slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even
the expression is impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only
to God.

Whether the independence of the continent was declared too soon, or
delayed too long, I will not now enter into as an argument; my own
simple opinion is, that had it been eight months earlier, it would
have been much better. We did not make a proper use of last winter,
neither could we, while we were in a dependent state. However, the
fault, if it were one, was all our own*; we have none to blame but
ourselves. But no great deal is lost yet. All that Howe has been
doing for this month past, is rather a ravage than a conquest, which
the spirit of the Jerseys, a year ago, would have quickly repulsed,
and which time and a little resolution will soon recover.

* The present winter is worth an age, if rightly employed; but, if
lost or neglected, the whole continent will partake of the evil; and
there is no punishment that man does not deserve, be he who, or what,
or where he will, that may be the means of sacrificing a season so
precious and useful.

I have as little superstition in me as any man living, but my secret
opinion has ever been, and still is, that God Almighty will not give
up a people to military destruction, or leave them unsupportedly to
perish, who have so earnestly and so repeatedly sought to avoid the
calamities of war, by every decent method which wisdom could invent.
Neither have I so much of the infidel in me, as to suppose that He
has relinquished the government of the world, and given us up to the
care of devils; and as I do not, I cannot see on what grounds the
king of Britain can look up to heaven for help against us: a common
murderer, a highwayman, or a house-breaker, has as good a pretence as
he.

'Tis surprising to see how rapidly a panic will sometimes run through
a country. All nations and ages have been subject to them. Britain
has trembled like an ague at the report of a French fleet of
flat-bottomed boats; and in the fourteenth [fifteenth] century the
whole English army, after ravaging the kingdom of France, was driven
back like men petrified with fear; and this brave exploit was
performed by a few broken forces collected and headed by a woman,
Joan of Arc. Would that heaven might inspire some Jersey maid to
spirit up her countrymen, and save her fair fellow sufferers from
ravage and ravishment! Yet panics, in some cases, have their uses;
they produce as much good as hurt. Their duration is always short;
the mind soon grows through them, and acquires a firmer habit than
before. But their peculiar advantage is, that they are the
touchstones of sincerity and hypocrisy, and bring things and men to
light, which might otherwise have lain forever undiscovered. In fact,
they have the same effect on secret traitors, which an imaginary
apparition would have upon a private murderer. They sift out the
hidden thoughts of man, and hold them up in public to the world. Many
a disguised Tory has lately shown his head, that shall penitentially
solemnize with curses the day on which Howe arrived upon the Delaware.

As I was with the troops at Fort Lee, and marched with them to the
edge of Pennsylvania, I am well acquainted with many circumstances,
which those who live at a distance know but little or nothing of. Our
situation there was exceedingly cramped, the place being a narrow
neck of land between the North River and the Hackensack. Our force
was inconsiderable, being not one-fourth so great as Howe could bring
against us. We had no army at hand to have relieved the garrison, had
we shut ourselves up and stood on our defence. Our ammunition, light
artillery, and the best part of our stores, had been removed, on the
apprehension that Howe would endeavor to penetrate the Jerseys, in
which case Fort Lee could be of no use to us; for it must occur to
every thinking man, whether in the army or not, that these kind of
field forts are only for temporary purposes, and last in use no
longer than the enemy directs his force against the particular object
which such forts are raised to defend. Such was our situation and
condition at Fort Lee on the morning of the 20th of November, when an
officer arrived with information that the enemy with 200 boats had
landed about seven miles above; Major General [Nathaniel] Green, who
commanded the garrison, immediately ordered them under arms, and sent
express to General Washington at the town of Hackensack, distant by
the way of the ferry = six miles. Our first object was to secure the
bridge over the Hackensack, which laid up the river between the enemy
and us, about six miles from us, and three from them. General
Washington arrived in about three-quarters of an hour, and marched at
the head of the troops towards the bridge, which place I expected we
should have a brush for; however, they did not choose to dispute it
with us, and the greatest part of our troops went over the bridge,
the rest over the ferry, except some which passed at a mill on a
small creek, between the bridge and the ferry, and made their way
through some marshy grounds up to the town of Hackensack, and there
passed the river. We brought off as much baggage as the wagons could
contain, the rest was lost. The simple object was to bring off the
garrison, and march them on till they could be strengthened by the
Jersey or Pennsylvania militia, so as to be enabled to make a stand.
We staid four days at Newark, collected our out-posts with some of
the Jersey militia, and marched out twice to meet the enemy, on being
informed that they were advancing, though our numbers were greatly
inferior to theirs. Howe, in my little opinion, committed a great
error in generalship in not throwing a body of forces off from Staten
Island through Amboy, by which means he might have seized all our
stores at Brunswick, and intercepted our march into Pennsylvania; but
if we believe the power of hell to be limited, we must likewise
believe that their agents are under some providential control.

I shall not now attempt to give all the particulars of our retreat to
the Delaware; suffice it for the present to say, that both officers
and men, though greatly harassed and fatigued, frequently without
rest, covering, or provision, the inevitable consequences of a long
retreat, bore it with a manly and martial spirit. All their wishes
centred in one, which was, that the country would turn out and help
them to drive the enemy back. Voltaire has remarked that King William
never appeared to full advantage but in difficulties and in action;
the same remark may be made on General Washington, for the character
fits him. There is a natural firmness in some minds which cannot be
unlocked by trifles, but which, when unlocked, discovers a cabinet of
fortitude; and I reckon it among those kind of public blessings,
which we do not immediately see, that God hath blessed him with
uninterrupted health, and given him a mind that can even flourish
upon care.

I shall conclude this paper with some miscellaneous remarks on the
state of our affairs; and shall begin with asking the following
question, Why is it that the enemy have left the New England
provinces, and made these middle ones the seat of war? The answer is
easy: New England is not infested with Tories, and we are. I have
been tender in raising the cry against these men, and used numberless
arguments to show them their danger, but it will not do to sacrifice
a world either to their folly or their baseness. The period is now
arrived, in which either they or we must change our sentiments, or
one or both must fall. And what is a Tory? Good God! what is he? I
should not be afraid to go with a hundred Whigs against a thousand
Tories, were they to attempt to get into arms. Every Tory is a
coward; for servile, slavish, self-interested fear is the foundation
of Toryism; and a man under such influence, though he may be cruel,
never can be brave.

But, before the line of irrecoverable separation be drawn between us,
let us reason the matter together: Your conduct is an invitation to
the enemy, yet not one in a thousand of you has heart enough to join
him. Howe is as much deceived by you as the American cause is injured
by you. He expects you will all take up arms, and flock to his
standard, with muskets on your shoulders. Your opinions are of no use
to him, unless you support him personally, for 'tis soldiers, and not
Tories, that he wants.

I once felt all that kind of anger, which a man ought to feel,
against the mean principles that are held by the Tories: a noted one,
who kept a tavern at Amboy, was standing at his door, with as pretty
a child in his hand, about eight or nine years old, as I ever saw,
and after speaking his mind as freely as he thought was prudent,
finished with this unfatherly expression, "Well! give me peace in my
day." Not a man lives on the continent but fully believes that a
separation must some time or other finally take place, and a generous
parent should have said, "If there must be trouble, let it be in my
day, that my child may have peace;" and this single reflection, well
applied, is sufficient to awaken every man to duty. Not a place upon
earth might be so happy as America. Her situation is remote from all
the wrangling world, and she has nothing to do but to trade with
them. A man can distinguish himself between temper and principle, and
I am as confident, as I am that God governs the world, that America
will never be happy till she gets clear of foreign dominion. Wars,
without ceasing, will break out till that period arrives, and the
continent must in the end be conqueror; for though the flame of
liberty may sometimes cease to shine, the coal can never expire.

America did not, nor does not want force; but she wanted a proper
application of that force. Wisdom is not the purchase of a day, and
it is no wonder that we should err at the first setting off. From an
excess of tenderness, we were unwilling to raise an army, and trusted
our cause to the temporary defence of a well-meaning militia. A
summer's experience has now taught us better; yet with those troops,
while they were collected, we were able to set bounds to the progress
of the enemy, and, thank God! they are again assembling. I always
considered militia as the best troops in the world for a sudden
exertion, but they will not do for a long campaign. Howe, it is
probable, will make an attempt on this city [Philadelphia]; should he
fail on this side the Delaware, he is ruined. If he succeeds, our
cause is not ruined. He stakes all on his side against a part on
ours; admitting he succeeds, the consequence will be, that armies
from both ends of the continent will march to assist their suffering
friends in the middle states; for he cannot go everywhere, it is
impossible. I consider Howe as the greatest enemy the Tories have; he
is bringing a war into their country, which, had it not been for him
and partly for themselves, they had been clear of. Should he now be
expelled, I wish with all the devotion of a Christian, that the names
of Whig and Tory may never more be mentioned; but should the Tories
give him encouragement to come, or assistance if he come, I as
sincerely wish that our next year's arms may expel them from the
continent, and the Congress appropriate their possessions to the
relief of those who have suffered in well-doing. A single successful
battle next year will settle the whole. America could carry on a two
years' war by the confiscation of the property of disaffected
persons, and be made happy by their expulsion. Say not that this is
revenge, call it rather the soft resentment of a suffering people,
who, having no object in view but the good of all, have staked their
own all upon a seemingly doubtful event. Yet it is folly to argue
against determined hardness; eloquence may strike the ear, and the
language of sorrow draw forth the tear of compassion, but nothing can
reach the heart that is steeled with prejudice.

Quitting this class of men, I turn with the warm ardor of a friend to
those who have nobly stood, and are yet determined to stand the
matter out: I call not upon a few, but upon all: not on this state or
that state, but on every state: up and help us; lay your shoulders to
the wheel; better have too much force than too little, when so great
an object is at stake. Let it be told to the future world, that in
the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive,
that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came
forth to meet and to repulse it. Say not that thousands are gone,
turn out your tens of thousands; throw not the burden of the day upon
Providence, but "show your faith by your works," that God may bless
you. It matters not where you live, or what rank of life you hold,
the evil or the blessing will reach you all. The far and the near,
the home counties and the back, the rich and the poor, will suffer or
rejoice alike. The heart that feels not now is dead; the blood of his
children will curse his cowardice, who shrinks back at a time when a
little might have saved the whole, and made them happy. I love the
man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from
distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little
minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience
approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death. My own
line of reasoning is to myself as straight and clear as a ray of
light. Not all the treasures of the world, so far as I believe, could
have induced me to support an offensive war, for I think it murder;
but if a thief breaks into my house, burns and destroys my property,
and kills or threatens to kill me, or those that are in it, and to
"bind me in all cases whatsoever" to his absolute will, am I to
suffer it? What signifies it to me, whether he who does it is a king
or a common man; my countryman or not my countryman; whether it be
done by an individual villain, or an army of them? If we reason to
the root of things we shall find no difference; neither can any just
cause be assigned why we should punish in the one case and pardon in
the other. Let them call me rebel and welcome, I feel no concern from
it; but I should suffer the misery of devils, were I to make a whore
of my soul by swearing allegiance to one whose character is that of a
sottish, stupid, stubborn, worthless, brutish man. I conceive
likewise a horrid idea in receiving mercy from a being, who at the
last day shall be shrieking to the rocks and mountains to cover him,
and fleeing with terror from the orphan, the widow, and the slain of
America.

There are cases which cannot be overdone by language, and this is
one. There are persons, too, who see not the full extent of the evil
which threatens them; they solace themselves with hopes that the
enemy, if he succeed, will be merciful. It is the madness of folly,
to expect mercy from those who have refused to do justice; and even
mercy, where conquest is the object, is only a trick of war; the
cunning of the fox is as murderous as the violence of the wolf, and
we ought to guard equally against both. Howe's first object is,
partly by threats and partly by promises, to terrify or seduce the
people to deliver up their arms and receive mercy. The ministry
recommended the same plan to Gage, and this is what the tories call
making their peace, "a peace which passeth all understanding" indeed!
A peace which would be the immediate forerunner of a worse ruin than
any we have yet thought of. Ye men of Pennsylvania, do reason upon
these things! Were the back counties to give up their arms, they
would fall an easy prey to the Indians, who are all armed: this
perhaps is what some Tories would not be sorry for. Were the home
counties to deliver up their arms, they would be exposed to the
resentment of the back counties who would then have it in their power
to chastise their defection at pleasure. And were any one state to
give up its arms, that state must be garrisoned by all Howe's army of
Britons and Hessians to preserve it from the anger of the rest.
Mutual fear is the principal link in the chain of mutual love, and
woe be to that state that breaks the compact. Howe is mercifully
inviting you to barbarous destruction, and men must be either rogues
or fools that will not see it. I dwell not upon the vapors of
imagination; I bring reason to your ears, and, in language as plain
as A, B, C, hold up truth to your eyes.

I thank God, that I fear not. I see no real cause for fear. I know
our situation well, and can see the way out of it. While our army was
collected, Howe dared not risk a battle; and it is no credit to him
that he decamped from the White Plains, and waited a mean opportunity
to ravage the defenceless Jerseys; but it is great credit to us,
that, with a handful of men, we sustained an orderly retreat for near
an hundred miles, brought off our ammunition, all our field pieces,
the greatest part of our stores, and had four rivers to pass. None
can say that our retreat was precipitate, for we were near three
weeks in performing it, that the country might have time to come in.
Twice we marched back to meet the enemy, and remained out till dark.
The sign of fear was not seen in our camp, and had not some of the
cowardly and disaffected inhabitants spread false alarms through the
country, the Jerseys had never been ravaged. Once more we are again
collected and collecting; our new army at both ends of the continent
is recruiting fast, and we shall be able to open the next campaign
with sixty thousand men, well armed and clothed. This is our
situation, and who will may know it. By perseverance and fortitude we
have the prospect of a glorious issue; by cowardice and submission,
the sad choice of a variety of evils- a ravaged country- a
depopulated city- habitations without safety, and slavery without
hope- our homes turned into barracks and bawdy-houses for Hessians,
and a future race to provide for, whose fathers we shall doubt of.
Look on this picture and weep over it! and if there yet remains one
thoughtless wretch who believes it not, let him suffer it unlamented.

COMMON SENSE.

December 23, 1776.

The Crisis

II.

TO LORD HOWE.

"What's in the name of lord, that I should fear
To bring my grievance to the public ear?"
CHURCHILL.

UNIVERSAL empire is the prerogative of a writer. His concerns are
with all mankind, and though he cannot command their obedience, he
can assign them their duty. The Republic of Letters is more ancient
than monarchy, and of far higher character in the world than the
vassal court of Britain; he that rebels against reason is a real
rebel, but he that in defence of reason rebels against tyranny has a
better title to "Defender of the Faith," than George the Third.

As a military man your lordship may hold out the sword of war, and
call it the "ultima ratio regum": the last reason of kings; we in
return can show you the sword of justice, and call it "the best
scourge of tyrants." The first of these two may threaten, or even
frighten for a while, and cast a sickly languor over an insulted
people, but reason will soon recover the debauch, and restore them
again to tranquil fortitude. Your lordship, I find, has now commenced
author, and published a proclamation; I have published a Crisis. As
they stand, they are the antipodes of each other; both cannot rise at
once, and one of them must descend; and so quick is the revolution of
things, that your lordship's performance, I see, has already fallen
many degrees from its first place, and is now just visible on the
edge of the political horizon.

It is surprising to what a pitch of infatuation, blind folly and
obstinacy will carry mankind, and your lordship's drowsy proclamation
is a proof that it does not even quit them in their sleep. Perhaps
you thought America too was taking a nap, and therefore chose, like
Satan to Eve, to whisper the delusion softly, lest you should awaken
her. This continent, sir, is too extensive to sleep all at once, and
too watchful, even in its slumbers, not to startle at the unhallowed
foot of an invader. You may issue your proclamations, and welcome,
for we have learned to "reverence ourselves," and scorn the insulting
ruffian that employs you. America, for your deceased brother's sake,
would gladly have shown you respect and it is a new aggravation to
her feelings, that Howe should be forgetful, and raise his sword
against those, who at their own charge raised a monument to his
brother. But your master has commanded, and you have not enough of
nature left to refuse. Surely there must be something strangely
degenerating in the love of monarchy, that can so completely wear a
man down to an ingrate, and make him proud to lick the dust that
kings have trod upon. A few more years, should you survive them, will
bestow on you the title of "an old man": and in some hour of future
reflection you may probably find the fitness of Wolsey's despairing
penitence- "had I served my God as faithful as I have served my king,
he would not thus have forsaken me in my old age."

The character you appear to us in, is truly ridiculous. Your friends,
the Tories, announced your coming, with high descriptions of your
unlimited powers; but your proclamation has given them the lie, by
showing you to be a commissioner without authority. Had your powers
been ever so great they were nothing to us, further than we pleased;
because we had the same right which other nations had, to do what we
thought was best. "The UNITED STATES of AMERICA," will sound as
pompously in the world or in history, as "the kingdom of Great
Britain"; the character of General Washington will fill a page with
as much lustre as that of Lord Howe: and the Congress have as much
right to command the king and Parliament in London to desist from
legislation, as they or you have to command the Congress. Only
suppose how laughable such an edict would appear from us, and then,
in that merry mood, do but turn the tables upon yourself, and you
will see how your proclamation is received here. Having thus placed
you in a proper position in which you may have a full view of your
folly, and learn to despise it, I hold up to you, for that purpose,
the following quotation from your own lunarian proclamation.- "And we
(Lord Howe and General Howe) do command (and in his majesty's name
forsooth) all such persons as are assembled together, under the name
of general or provincial congresses, committees, conventions or other
associations, by whatever name or names known and distinguished, to
desist and cease from all such treasonable actings and doings."

You introduce your proclamation by referring to your declarations of
the 14th of July and 19th of September. In the last of these you sunk
yourself below the character of a private gentleman. That I may not
seem to accuse you unjustly, I shall state the circumstance: by a
verbal invitation of yours, communicated to Congress by General
Sullivan, then a prisoner on his parole, you signified your desire of
conferring with some members of that body as private gentlemen. It
was beneath the dignity of the American Congress to pay any regard to
a message that at best was but a genteel affront, and had too much of
the ministerial complexion of tampering with private persons; and
which might probably have been the case, had the gentlemen who were
deputed on the business possessed that kind of easy virtue which an
English courtier is so truly distinguished by. Your request, however,
was complied with, for honest men are naturally more tender of their
civil than their political fame. The interview ended as every
sensible man thought it would; for your lordship knows, as well as
the writer of the Crisis, that it is impossible for the King of
England to promise the repeal, or even the revisal of any acts of
parliament; wherefore, on your part, you had nothing to say, more
than to request, in the room of demanding, the entire surrender of
the continent; and then, if that was complied with, to promise that
the inhabitants should escape with their lives. This was the upshot
of the conference. You informed the conferees that you were two
months in soliciting these powers. We ask, what powers? for as
commissioner you have none. If you mean the power of pardoning, it is
an oblique proof that your master was determined to sacrifice all
before him; and that you were two months in dissuading him from his
purpose. Another evidence of his savage obstinacy! From your own
account of the matter we may justly draw these two conclusions: 1st,
That you serve a monster; and 2d, That never was a messenger sent on
a more foolish errand than yourself. This plain language may perhaps
sound uncouthly to an ear vitiated by courtly refinements, but words
were made for use, and the fault lies in deserving them, or the abuse
in applying them unfairly.

Soon after your return to New York, you published a very illiberal
and unmanly handbill against the Congress; for it was certainly
stepping out of the line of common civility, first to screen your
national pride by soliciting an interview with them as private
gentlemen, and in the conclusion to endeavor to deceive the multitude
by making a handbill attack on the whole body of the Congress; you
got them together under one name, and abused them under another. But
the king you serve, and the cause you support, afford you so few
instances of acting the gentleman, that out of pity to your situation
the Congress pardoned the insult by taking no notice of it.

You say in that handbill, "that they, the Congress, disavowed every
purpose for reconciliation not consonant with their extravagant and
inadmissible claim of independence." Why, God bless me! what have you
to do with our independence? We ask no leave of yours to set it up;
we ask no money of yours to support it; we can do better without your
fleets and armies than with them; you may soon have enough to do to
protect yourselves without being burdened with us. We are very
willing to be at peace with you, to buy of you and sell to you, and,
like young beginners in the world, to work for our living; therefore,
why do you put yourselves out of cash, when we know you cannot spare
it, and we do not desire you to run into debt? I am willing, sir,
that you should see your folly in every point of view I can place it
in, and for that reason descend sometimes to tell you in jest what I
wish you to see in earnest. But to be more serious with you, why do
you say, "their independence?" To set you right, sir, we tell you,
that the independency is ours, not theirs. The Congress were
authorized by every state on the continent to publish it to all the
world, and in so doing are not to be considered as the inventors, but
only as the heralds that proclaimed it, or the office from which the
sense of the people received a legal form; and it was as much as any
or all their heads were worth, to have treated with you on the
subject of submission under any name whatever. But we know the men in
whom we have trusted; can England say the same of her Parliament?

I come now more particularly to your proclamation of the 30th of
November last. Had you gained an entire conquest over all the armies
of America, and then put forth a proclamation, offering (what you
call) mercy, your conduct would have had some specious show of
humanity; but to creep by surprise into a province, and there
endeavor to terrify and seduce the inhabitants from their just
allegiance to the rest by promises, which you neither meant nor were
able to fulfil, is both cruel and unmanly: cruel in its effects;
because, unless you can keep all the ground you have marched over,
how are you, in the words of your proclamation, to secure to your
proselytes "the enjoyment of their property?" What is to become
either of your new adopted subjects, or your old friends, the Tories,
in Burlington, Bordentown, Trenton, Mount Holly, and many other
places, where you proudly lorded it for a few days, and then fled
with the precipitation of a pursued thief? What, I say, is to become
of those wretches? What is to become of those who went over to you
from this city and State? What more can you say to them than "shift
for yourselves?" Or what more can they hope for than to wander like
vagabonds over the face of the earth? You may now tell them to take
their leave of America, and all that once was theirs. Recommend them,
for consolation, to your master's court; there perhaps they may make
a shift to live on the scraps of some dangling parasite, and choose
companions among thousands like themselves. A traitor is the foulest
fiend on earth.

In a political sense we ought to thank you for thus bequeathing
estates to the continent; we shall soon, at this rate, be able to
carry on a war without expense, and grow rich by the ill policy of
Lord Howe, and the generous defection of the Tories. Had you set your
foot into this city, you would have bestowed estates upon us which we
never thought of, by bringing forth traitors we were unwilling to
suspect. But these men, you'll say, "are his majesty's most faithful
subjects;" let that honor, then, be all their fortune, and let his
majesty take them to himself.

I am now thoroughly disgusted with them; they live in ungrateful
ease, and bend their whole minds to mischief. It seems as if God had
given them over to a spirit of infidelity, and that they are open to
conviction in no other line but that of punishment. It is time to
have done with tarring, feathering, carting, and taking securities
for their future good behavior; every sensible man must feel a
conscious shame at seeing a poor fellow hawked for a show about the
streets, when it is known he is only the tool of some principal
villain, biassed into his offence by the force of false reasoning, or
bribed thereto, through sad necessity. We dishonor ourselves by
attacking such trifling characters while greater ones are suffered to
escape; 'tis our duty to find them out, and their proper punishment
would be to exile them from the continent for ever. The circle of
them is not so great as some imagine; the influence of a few have
tainted many who are not naturally corrupt. A continual circulation
of lies among those who are not much in the way of hearing them
contradicted, will in time pass for truth; and the crime lies not in
the believer but the inventor. I am not for declaring war with every
man that appears not so warm as myself: difference of constitution,
temper, habit of speaking, and many other things, will go a great way
in fixing the outward character of a man, yet simple honesty may
remain at bottom. Some men have naturally a military turn, and can
brave hardships and the risk of life with a cheerful face; others
have not; no slavery appears to them so great as the fatigue of arms,
and no terror so powerful as that of personal danger. What can we
say? We cannot alter nature, neither ought we to punish the son
because the father begot him in a cowardly mood. However, I believe
most men have more courage than they know of, and that a little at
first is enough to begin with. I knew the time when I thought that
the whistling of a cannon ball would have frightened me almost to
death; but I have since tried it, and find that I can stand it with
as little discomposure, and, I believe, with a much easier conscience
than your lordship. The same dread would return to me again were I in
your situation, for my solemn belief of your cause is, that it is
hellish and damnable, and, under that conviction, every thinking
man's heart must fail him.

From a concern that a good cause should be dishonored by the least
disunion among us, I said in my former paper, No. I. "That should the
enemy now be expelled, I wish, with all the sincerity of a Christian,
that the names of Whig and Tory might never more be mentioned;" but
there is a knot of men among us of such a venomous cast, that they
will not admit even one's good wishes to act in their favor. Instead
of rejoicing that heaven had, as it were, providentially preserved
this city from plunder and destruction, by delivering so great a part
of the enemy into our hands with so little effusion of blood, they
stubbornly affected to disbelieve it till within an hour, nay, half
an hour, of the prisoners arriving; and the Quakers put forth a
testimony, dated the 20th of December, signed "John Pemberton,"
declaring their attachment to the British government.* These men are
continually harping on the great sin of our bearing arms, but the
king of Britain may lay waste the world in blood and famine, and
they, poor fallen souls, have nothing to say.

* I have ever been careful of charging offences upon whole societies
of men, but as the paper referred to is put forth by an unknown set
of men, who claim to themselves the right of representing the whole:
and while the whole Society of Quakers admit its validity by a silent
acknowledgment, it is impossible that any distinction can be made by
the public: and the more so, because the New York paper of the 30th
of December, printed by permission of our enemies, says that "the
Quakers begin to speak openly of their attachment to the British
Constitution." We are certain that we have many friends among them,
and wish to know them.

In some future paper I intend to distinguish between the different
kind of persons who have been denominated Tories; for this I am clear
in, that all are not so who have been called so, nor all men Whigs
who were once thought so; and as I mean not to conceal the name of
any true friend when there shall be occasion to mention him, neither
will I that of an enemy, who ought to be known, let his rank, station
or religion be what it may. Much pains have been taken by some to set
your lordship's private character in an amiable light, but as it has
chiefly been done by men who know nothing about you, and who are no
ways remarkable for their attachment to us, we have no just authority
for believing it. George the Third has imposed upon us by the same
arts, but time, at length, has done him justice, and the same fate
may probably attend your lordship. You avowed purpose here is to
kill, conquer, plunder, pardon, and enslave: and the ravages of your
army through the Jerseys have been marked with as much barbarism as
if you had openly professed yourself the prince of ruffians; not even
the appearance of humanity has been preserved either on the march or
the retreat of your troops; no general order that I could ever learn,
has ever been issued to prevent or even forbid your troops from
robbery, wherever they came, and the only instance of justice, if it
can be called such, which has distinguished you for impartiality, is,
that you treated and plundered all alike; what could not be carried
away has been destroyed, and mahogany furniture has been deliberately
laid on fire for fuel, rather than the men should be fatigued with
cutting wood.* There was a time when the Whigs confided much in your
supposed candor, and the Tories rested themselves in your favor; the
experiments have now been made, and failed; in every town, nay, every
cottage, in the Jerseys, where your arms have been, is a testimony
against you. How you may rest under this sacrifice of character I
know not; but this I know, that you sleep and rise with the daily
curses of thousands upon you; perhaps the misery which the Tories
have suffered by your proffered mercy may give them some claim to
their country's pity, and be in the end the best favor you could show
them.

* As some people may doubt the truth of such wanton destruction, I
think it necessary to inform them that one of the people called
Quakers, who lives at Trenton, gave me this information at the house
of Mr. Michael Hutchinson, (one of the same profession,) who lives
near Trenton ferry on the Pennsylvania side, Mr. Hutchinson being
present.

In a folio general-order book belonging to Col. Rhal's battalion,
taken at Trenton, and now in the possession of the council of safety
for this state, the following barbarous order is frequently repeated,
"His excellency the Commander-in-Chief orders, that all inhabitants
who shall be found with arms, not having an officer with them, shall
be immediately taken and hung up." How many you may thus have
privately sacrificed, we know not, and the account can only be
settled in another world. Your treatment of prisoners, in order to
distress them to enlist in your infernal service, is not to be
equalled by any instance in Europe. Yet this is the humane Lord Howe
and his brother, whom the Tories and their three-quarter kindred, the
Quakers, or some of them at least, have been holding up for patterns
of justice and mercy!

A bad cause will ever be supported by bad means and bad men; and
whoever will be at the pains of examining strictly into things, will
find that one and the same spirit of oppression and impiety, more or
less, governs through your whole party in both countries: not many
days ago, I accidentally fell in company with a person of this city
noted for espousing your cause, and on my remarking to him, "that it
appeared clear to me, by the late providential turn of affairs, that
God Almighty was visibly on our side," he replied, "We care nothing
for that you may have Him, and welcome; if we have but enough of the
devil on our side, we shall do." However carelessly this might be
spoken, matters not, 'tis still the insensible principle that directs
all your conduct and will at last most assuredly deceive and ruin you.

If ever a nation was made and foolish, blind to its own interest and
bent on its own destruction, it is Britain. There are such things as
national sins, and though the punishment of individuals may be
reserved to another world, national punishment can only be inflicted
in this world. Britain, as a nation, is, in my inmost belief, the
greatest and most ungrateful offender against God on the face of the
whole earth. Blessed with all the commerce she could wish for, and
furnished, by a vast extension of dominion, with the means of
civilizing both the eastern and western world, she has made no other
use of both than proudly to idolize her own "thunder," and rip up the
bowels of whole countries for what she could get. Like Alexander, she
has made war her sport, and inflicted misery for prodigality's sake.
The blood of India is not yet repaid, nor the wretchedness of Africa
yet requited. Of late she has enlarged her list of national cruelties
by her butcherly destruction of the Caribbs of St. Vincent's, and
returning an answer by the sword to the meek prayer for "Peace,
liberty and safety." These are serious things, and whatever a foolish
tyrant, a debauched court, a trafficking legislature, or a blinded
people may think, the national account with heaven must some day or
other be settled: all countries have sooner or later been called to
their reckoning; the proudest empires have sunk when the balance was
struck; and Britain, like an individual penitent, must undergo her
day of sorrow, and the sooner it happens to her the better. As I wish
it over, I wish it to come, but withal wish that it may be as light
as possible.

Perhaps your lordship has no taste for serious things; by your
connections in England I should suppose not; therefore I shall drop
this part of the subject, and take it up in a line in which you will
better understand me.

By what means, may I ask, do you expect to conquer America? If you
could not effect it in the summer, when our army was less than yours,
nor in the winter, when we had none, how are you to do it? In point
of generalship you have been outwitted, and in point of fortitude
outdone; your advantages turn out to your loss, and show us that it
is in our power to ruin you by gifts: like a game of drafts, we can
move out of one square to let you come in, in order that we may
afterwards take two or three for one; and as we can always keep a
double corner for ourselves, we can always prevent a total defeat.
You cannot be so insensible as not to see that we have two to one the
advantage of you, because we conquer by a drawn game, and you lose by
it. Burgoyne might have taught your lordship this knowledge; he has
been long a student in the doctrine of chances.

I have no other idea of conquering countries than by subduing the
armies which defend them: have you done this, or can you do it? If
you have not, it would be civil in you to let your proclamations
alone for the present; otherwise, you will ruin more Tories by your
grace and favor, than you will Whigs by your arms.

Were you to obtain possession of this city, you would not know what
to do with it more than to plunder it. To hold it in the manner you
hold New York, would be an additional dead weight upon your hands;
and if a general conquest is your object, you had better be without
the city than with it. When you have defeated all our armies, the
cities will fall into your hands of themselves; but to creep into
them in the manner you got into Princeton, Trenton, &c. is like
robbing an orchard in the night before the fruit be ripe, and running
away in the morning. Your experiment in the Jerseys is sufficient to
teach you that you have something more to do than barely to get into
other people's houses; and your new converts, to whom you promised
all manner of protection, and seduced into new guilt by pardoning
them from their former virtues, must begin to have a very
contemptible opinion both of your power and your policy. Your
authority in the Jerseys is now reduced to the small circle which
your army occupies, and your proclamation is no where else seen
unless it be to be laughed at. The mighty subduers of the continent
have retreated into a nutshell, and the proud forgivers of our sins
are fled from those they came to pardon; and all this at a time when
they were despatching vessel after vessel to England with the great
news of every day. In short, you have managed your Jersey expedition
so very dexterously, that the dead only are conquerors, because none
will dispute the ground with them.

In all the wars which you have formerly been concerned in you had
only armies to contend with; in this case you have both an army and a
country to combat with. In former wars, the countries followed the
fate of their capitals; Canada fell with Quebec, and Minorca with
Port Mahon or St. Phillips; by subduing those, the conquerors opened
a way into, and became masters of the country: here it is otherwise;
if you get possession of a city here, you are obliged to shut
yourselves up in it, and can make no other use of it, than to spend
your country's money in. This is all the advantage you have drawn
from New York; and you would draw less from Philadelphia, because it
requires more force to keep it, and is much further from the sea. A
pretty figure you and the Tories would cut in this city, with a river
full of ice, and a town full of fire; for the immediate consequence
of your getting here would be, that you would be cannonaded out
again, and the Tories be obliged to make good the damage; and this
sooner or later will be the fate of New York.

I wish to see the city saved, not so much from military as from
natural motives. 'Tis the hiding place of women and children, and
Lord Howe's proper business is with our armies. When I put all the
circumstances together which ought to be taken, I laugh at your
notion of conquering America. Because you lived in a little country,
where an army might run over the whole in a few days, and where a
single company of soldiers might put a multitude to the rout, you
expected to find it the same here. It is plain that you brought over
with you all the narrow notions you were bred up with, and imagined
that a proclamation in the king's name was to do great things; but
Englishmen always travel for knowledge, and your lordship, I hope,
will return, if you return at all, much wiser than you came.

We may be surprised by events we did not expect, and in that interval
of recollection you may gain some temporary advantage: such was the
case a few weeks ago, but we soon ripen again into reason, collect
our strength, and while you are preparing for a triumph, we come upon
you with a defeat. Such it has been, and such it would be were you to
try it a hundred times over. Were you to garrison the places you
might march over, in order to secure their subjection, (for remember
you can do it by no other means,) your army would be like a stream of
water running to nothing. By the time you extended from New York to
Virginia, you would be reduced to a string of drops not capable of
hanging together; while we, by retreating from State to State, like a
river turning back upon itself, would acquire strength in the same
proportion as you lost it, and in the end be capable of overwhelming
you. The country, in the meantime, would suffer, but it is a day of
suffering, and we ought to expect it. What we contend for is worthy
the affliction we may go through. If we get but bread to eat, and any
kind of raiment to put on, we ought not only to be contented, but
thankful. More than that we ought not to look for, and less than that
heaven has not yet suffered us to want. He that would sell his
birthright for a little salt, is as worthless as he who sold it for
pottage without salt; and he that would part with it for a gay coat,
or a plain coat, ought for ever to be a slave in buff. What are salt,
sugar and finery, to the inestimable blessings of "Liberty and
Safety!" Or what are the inconveniences of a few months to the
tributary bondage of ages? The meanest peasant in America, blessed
with these sentiments, is a happy man compared with a New York Tory;
he can eat his morsel without repining, and when he has done, can
sweeten it with a repast of wholesome air; he can take his child by
the hand and bless it, without feeling the conscious shame of
neglecting a parent's duty.

In publishing these remarks I have several objects in view.

On your part they are to expose the folly of your pretended authority
as a commissioner; the wickedness of your cause in general; and the
impossibility of your conquering us at any rate. On the part of the
public, my intention is, to show them their true and sold interest;
to encourage them to their own good, to remove the fears and
falsities which bad men have spread, and weak men have encouraged;
and to excite in all men a love for union, and a cheerfulness for
duty.

I shall submit one more case to you respecting your conquest of this
country, and then proceed to new observations.

Suppose our armies in every part of this continent were immediately
to disperse, every man to his home, or where else he might be safe,
and engage to reassemble again on a certain future day; it is clear
that you would then have no army to contend with, yet you would be as
much at a loss in that case as you are now; you would be afraid to
send your troops in parties over to the continent, either to disarm
or prevent us from assembling, lest they should not return; and while
you kept them together, having no arms of ours to dispute with, you
could not call it a conquest; you might furnish out a pompous page in
the London Gazette or a New York paper, but when we returned at the
appointed time, you would have the same work to do that you had at
first.

It has been the folly of Britain to suppose herself more powerful
than she really is, and by that means has arrogated to herself a rank
in the world she is not entitled to: for more than this century past
she has not been able to carry on a war without foreign assistance.
In Marlborough's campaigns, and from that day to this, the number of
German troops and officers assisting her have been about equal with
her own; ten thousand Hessians were sent to England last war to
protect her from a French invasion; and she would have cut but a poor
figure in her Canadian and West Indian expeditions, had not America
been lavish both of her money and men to help her along. The only
instance in which she was engaged singly, that I can recollect, was
against the rebellion in Scotland, in the years 1745 and 1746, and in
that, out of three battles, she was twice beaten, till by thus
reducing their numbers, (as we shall yours) and taking a supply ship
that was coming to Scotland with clothes, arms and money, (as we have
often done,) she was at last enabled to defeat them. England was
never famous by land; her officers have generally been suspected of
cowardice, have more of the air of a dancing-master than a soldier,
and by the samples which we have taken prisoners, we give the
preference to ourselves. Her strength, of late, has lain in her
extravagance; but as her finances and credit are now low, her sinews
in that line begin to fail fast. As a nation she is the poorest in
Europe; for were the whole kingdom, and all that is in it, to be put
up for sale like the estate of a bankrupt, it would not fetch as much
as she owes; yet this thoughtless wretch must go to war, and with the
avowed design, too, of making us beasts of burden, to support her in
riot and debauchery, and to assist her afterwards in distressing
those nations who are now our best friends. This ingratitude may suit
a Tory, or the unchristian peevishness of a fallen Quaker, but none
else.

'Tis the unhappy temper of the English to be pleased with any war,
right or wrong, be it but successful; but they soon grow discontented
with ill fortune, and it is an even chance that they are as clamorous
for peace next summer, as the king and his ministers were for war
last winter. In this natural view of things, your lordship stands in
a very critical situation: your whole character is now staked upon
your laurels; if they wither, you wither with them; if they flourish,
you cannot live long to look at them; and at any rate, the black
account hereafter is not far off. What lately appeared to us
misfortunes, were only blessings in disguise; and the seeming
advantages on your side have turned out to our profit. Even our loss
of this city, as far as we can see, might be a principal gain to us:
the more surface you spread over, the thinner you will be, and the
easier wiped away; and our consolation under that apparent disaster
would be, that the estates of the Tories would become securities for
the repairs. In short, there is no old ground we can fail upon, but
some new foundation rises again to support us. "We have put, sir, our
hands to the plough, and cursed be he that looketh back."

Your king, in his speech to parliament last spring, declared, "That
he had no doubt but the great force they had enabled him to send to
America, would effectually reduce the rebellious colonies." It has
not, neither can it; but it has done just enough to lay the
foundation of its own next year's ruin. You are sensible that you
left England in a divided, distracted state of politics, and, by the
command you had here, you became a principal prop in the court party;
their fortunes rest on yours; by a single express you can fix their
value with the public, and the degree to which their spirits shall
rise or fall; they are in your hands as stock, and you have the
secret of the alley with you. Thus situated and connected, you become
the unintentional mechanical instrument of your own and their
overthrow. The king and his ministers put conquest out of doubt, and
the credit of both depended on the proof. To support them in the
interim, it was necessary that you should make the most of every
thing, and we can tell by Hugh Gaine's New York paper what the
complexion of the London Gazette is. With such a list of victories
the nation cannot expect you will ask new supplies; and to confess
your want of them would give the lie to your triumphs, and impeach
the king and his ministers of treasonable deception. If you make the
necessary demand at home, your party sinks; if you make it not, you
sink yourself; to ask it now is too late, and to ask it before was
too soon, and unless it arrive quickly will be of no use. In short,
the part you have to act, cannot be acted; and I am fully persuaded
that all you have to trust to is, to do the best you can with what
force you have got, or little more. Though we have greatly exceeded
you in point of generalship and bravery of men, yet, as a people, we
have not entered into the full soul of enterprise; for I, who know
England and the disposition of the people well, am confident, that it
is easier for us to effect a revolution there, than you a conquest
here; a few thousand men landed in England with the declared design
of deposing the present king, bringing his ministers to trial, and
setting up the Duke of Gloucester in his stead, would assuredly carry
their point, while you are grovelling here, ignorant of the matter.
As I send all my papers to England, this, like Common Sense, will
find its way there; and though it may put one party on their guard,
it will inform the other, and the nation in general, of our design to
help them.

Thus far, sir, I have endeavored to give you a picture of present
affairs: you may draw from it what conclusions you please. I wish as
well to the true prosperity of England as you can, but I consider
INDEPENDENCE as America's natural right and interest, and never could
see any real disservice it would be to Britain. If an English
merchant receives an order, and is paid for it, it signifies nothing
to him who governs the country. This is my creed of politics. If I
have any where expressed myself over-warmly, 'tis from a fixed,
immovable hatred I have, and ever had, to cruel men and cruel
measures. I have likewise an aversion to monarchy, as being too
debasing to the dignity of man; but I never troubled others with my
notions till very lately, nor ever published a syllable in England in
my life. What I write is pure nature, and my pen and my soul have
ever gone together. My writings I have always given away, reserving
only the expense of printing and paper, and sometimes not even that.
I never courted either fame or interest, and my manner of life, to
those who know it, will justify what I say. My study is to be useful,
and if your lordship loves mankind as well as I do, you would, seeing
you cannot conquer us, cast about and lend your hand towards
accomplishing a peace. Our independence with God's blessing we will
maintain against all the world; but as we wish to avoid evil
ourselves, we wish not to inflict it on others. I am never
over-inquisitive into the secrets of the cabinet, but I have some
notion that, if you neglect the present opportunity, it will not be
in our power to make a separate peace with you afterwards; for
whatever treaties or alliances we form, we shall most faithfully
abide by; wherefore you may be deceived if you think you can make it
with us at any time. A lasting independent peace is my wish, end and
aim; and to accomplish that, I pray God the Americans may never be
defeated, and I trust while they have good officers, and are well
commanded, and willing to be commanded, that they NEVER WILL BE.

COMMON SENSE.

PHILADELPHIA, Jan. 13, 1777.


The Crisis


III.

IN THE progress of politics, as in the common occurrences of life, we
are not only apt to forget the ground we have travelled over, but
frequently neglect to gather up experience as we go. We expend, if I
may so say, the knowledge of every day on the circumstances that
produce it, and journey on in search of new matter and new
refinements: but as it is pleasant and sometimes useful to look back,
even to the first periods of infancy, and trace the turns and
windings through which we have passed, so we may likewise derive many
advantages by halting a while in our political career, and taking a
review of the wondrous complicated labyrinth of little more than
yesterday.

Truly may we say, that never did men grow old in so short a time! We
have crowded the business of an age into the compass of a few months,
and have been driven through such a rapid succession of things, that
for the want of leisure to think, we unavoidably wasted knowledge as
we came, and have left nearly as much behind us as we brought with
us: but the road is yet rich with the fragments, and, before we
finally lose sight of them, will repay us for the trouble of stopping
to pick them up.

Were a man to be totally deprived of memory, he would be incapable of
forming any just opinion; every thing about him would seem a chaos:
he would have even his own history to ask from every one; and by not
knowing how the world went in his absence, he would be at a loss to
know how it ought to go on when he recovered, or rather, returned to
it again. In like manner, though in a less degree, a too great
inattention to past occurrences ret*ds and bewilders our judgment in
everything; while, on the contrary, by comparing what is past with
what is present, we frequently hit on the true character of both, and
become wise with very little trouble. It is a kind of counter-march,
by which we get into the rear of time, and mark the movements and
meaning of things as we make our return. There are certain
circumstances, which, at the time of their happening, are a kind of
riddles, and as every riddle is to be followed by its answer, so
those kind of circumstances will be followed by their events, and
those events are always the true solution. A considerabl

I apologize for being vague, for I don't mean to imply anything bad like that, not at all. We shall simply call it a good image, for in my opinion the sum of its varied facets add up to something better than pure goodness.

Easy. Light a match, and see which fart actually ignites.

damnit, post length limit ruined it.

Glad to hear. Glad to hear that people think I actually have hidden depths. Introspection is a real b***h for me.

I should probably make it clear that I was kidding about the peacock. Halfway.

The wind rustling the branches of an evergreen.

Paine will get you yet!

Corset makers always win!

It is even for those who pride themselves on it.

It is something, paradoxically, to both be proud of and fearful of.

Morning all.

Shades hasn't posted on here for a while, could her computer be broken or something?

*wins*

*Quatermass whacks Flagg over the head with whalebone.*

Or bored of, but unable to stop.

Indeed, this we are agreed on.

Probably depressed 'cos Flagg won't listen to her. Apparently.

*Whacks calandale repeeatedly over the head with Thus Spoke Zarathustra and Beyond Good and Evil.*