The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Or perhaps wearing Jeremy Clarkson's mask and applying for the role of the mayor of London?

The more question and exclamation marks follow a question, the more important it is. People on the Internet are well known to make wise use of this fact, and Google, being a smart search engine, can?t fail to take it into account. Thus, when you want to find something out with a Google search, it?s handy to have a text file around containing a few thousands of those signs to paste them at the end of your question. If you don?t, other questions will be deemed more important than yours and take precedence over it.

When your arm has been cut off, the best thing to do is to google it.

If you have a broken arm or leg, you should break the other for the sake of consistency.

Lool

When you have all of your limbs broken, the best thing to do, is to do absolutely nothing about it.

'Tis but a scratch'


Monty Python and the Holy Grail

When you have a toothache, you should wait for about 6 months before seeing a dentist just to make sure that it's a toothache. If it turns out to be something else (such as a headache or stomach ache), it's very embarrassing.

Always got to the cheapest dentist in town.

If you live in Southern California, cross the border and find one in Tijuana.

^ You should also choose the cheapest food, cheapest clothes, cheapest shampoo, cheapest electronics and so on. You will end up saving so much money by choosing the cheapest!

And if some company you never heard of offers to check if your computer is 'secure', go ahead, give them all of your log ins!

if you get a mail saying you just won 5 million US dollars, you should give them all your info and especially bank account number!

When you travel on the London Underground, try to be sociable and engage in friendly, inquisitive conversation with your fellow passengers.

They will appreciate your cheerfulness and curiosity!

Lool people here are similarly appreciative of inquisitive questioning especially when using public transportation.


Anyway, when you get a mail titled "my new photo" with an attached file from some Russian woman you never heard from before, saying "if you like my photo to send me u photo" you should enthusiastically reply and send her everything she asks for!

Always make eye contact and converse with people talking to themselves in public.....especially those pushing grocery carts.

When a drunk beggar asks you for money swearing that he'll buy some food, you should very happily buy him booze instead.

If bitten at the dog park and the dog's owner assures you that 'Widowmaker' has had all his shots, believe him; don't bother getting name, address, or phone number, and especially don't bother those busy people at the local E.R.