Outcast Fanfic Choose an Adventure story!!

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You confused him! Get on with it.

I was never good at that outline and follow, the keys have a mind of their own. Click, click, click, click,,,

Alright, the proposal is A, but keep in mind this is only choosing what Keiran PROPOSES to Scythe, not what will actually happen. But, on with the show!

On with the show!

The Show must go on!

It is, Show Time!

Alright alright! I'll finish it up!

At least I know people are waiting for the next part instead of voting for the hell of it. That's what it felt like before, what with only two people voting and all...

iv only read about 6 pages of it at the moment but i think its really gd

Thanks webster! I'm trying to figure out what'll happen to Scythe and co next...

Shorter segments, more instalments!

You move through several scenes, then stop forever, Scenes start, do something for the story, then end.

The dynamic between characters gets lost.

Scythe and the stranger, both trying to figure the other out.

This is a peak moment, some depth of character please.

Alright, I'll see what I can do.

“Well I know how much you detest your little girlfriend,”
“Girlfriend?!” Scythe protested
“-so I think it would be very satisfactory if you would be the one to do it.”
“You want me to kill Marilyn?”
“Yes.”
“Can’t be bothered to do it yourself?”
“No… I could very well snap your neck to take you out, and then stick it to your friend over there.”
“And why don’t you?”
“I want to test you.”
“Test me? What use am I of to you, let alone to anybody?”
“You will see, if you want. If you are in, then you will meet me down the path at the crossroad. If you are out, stay where you are, with your so-called friends, just as much a risk as the other two.”
“‘So-called?”
“Yes. I can see and tell that they don’t pay much attention to you.”
“That’s because I don’t draw much attention to myself. It’s not like I want friends, but I do have a sense of moral dignity in keeping them.”
“So why hasn’t that dignity made you have friends in the past?”
“I wanted to keep to myself. I’m secluded, I prefer to be on my own.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So when are you going to let me go?”
“Right about now.” Keiran said, and promptly lifted Scythe up by the neck and threw her into the bushes.
“Is that how you treat your do-doers, is it?”
“It’s just what I do.” And then he disappeared down the road.
Scythe lay on top of the bush for a while, not sure what to make of what just happened.


The group woke up the next morning under the shadow of the mountains. Not all at the same time, however; Booger wakes up early (which is the reason behind his slightly cranky nature), however he woke up Bob and Marilyn to get going early.
“Hey, guys,” he whispered into their ears as he shook them, “wake up!”
“Unghh… oh, morning Booger.” Marilyn said.
“Morning guys.” Bob yawned.
“Guys… Scythe’s missing.
“Wait, what??” Marilyn asked, concerned.
“I dunno, eh? She’s just not here. All her stuff has gone, although she did have the dignity to only take her personal stuff, and not anything we need.”
“Where could she have gone?” Marilyn asked to the air, ignoring the fact that she had to carry more.
“Hmm, I think the better question is why she has gone.” Bob said.
“Oh geez, what do you mean?” Marilyn asked, concerned.
“Well, think about it. She didn’t have any reason to walk off.”
“Apart from what she said yesterday about doing her job and having no reason to stay.” Booger pointed out.
“Oh, right!”
“So she went off home then?” Marilyn asked.
“I don’t think so…” Bob said, “check this out.” He pointed to markings in the dirt.”
“Ahh, I see what you’re getting at.” Booger said. “What’s it say?”
“Nothing in any language, if that’s what you mean.” Bob said. Being small, Bob was a good person to analyze animal tracks and markings and such. “Those are our own tracks there,” he said, pointing to a group of footprints, and Scythe’s shoeprints, heading to and around the campfire. “Scythe seems to have gotten up sometime in the night, as you can see here.”
“Probably to take a piddle.” Booger said, seeing that they went behind the bushes.
“Right. We also have these new shoeprints coming from the other side of the path there.”
“They don’t have the same sole markings as Scythe’s shoes. Do you think…?”
“Probably so.” Bob replied.
Marilyn swore. “He was probably going to get me! Booger, from now on, you’re on watch.”
“Aww man!”
“Anyway,” Bob interrupted, “Scythe seems to have jumped him. These long marks in the ground show us that. They appear to have rolled around a bit, and one of them pinned the other one down, and because it’s a little bit deeper than the shoemarks they were there for a while. It was probably that guy.”
“How do you know that?”
“Well, we’ve got a few of shoemarks here, one in a standing position, that are the same as that person who wants to kill Marilyn, and they’re in a normal standing position. If either of them stumbled backwards, they would have went further back. The only way it could be Scythe’s is if they changed shoes.”
“And I suppose even then you would have been able to tell by markings in the dirt?”
“Precisely.”
“All right, futureman, what happened next?”
“Well the killer’s shoeprints then ran off-”
“Due to how far apart the prints are?”
“Yes, and Scythe appears to have walked from the bush-”
“How’d she get there?” Booger interrupted again.
“I dunno!” Bob said, frustrated, “She was probably thrown there. Anyway, she walked over, took her stuff out, and walked up the road, probably to follow the killer. That’s it, end of story.”
“Cool, read me another one!”
“Just be quiet.”
“Alright,” Marilyn cut in, “So I suppose our most important issue is to find Scythe and what happened to her, if we can?”
“Sounds logical.” Bob said.
“I’m all up for it.” Booger replied.
“Okay. Let’s pack up and go after her.”

Which they did, and very quickly. Marilyn stuffed all she could into her backpack, but couldn’t get all of it in, so Booger offered to carry some of the food, reasoning that he’d probably eat all of it anyway. Indeed, by the time they got to a crossroad, he had eaten it all.
“Huh, so which way do we go?” Marilyn asked. “Do we follow the shoeprints?”
“We can’t, they end right here. A bunch of marks grouped together in front of this signpost, with one on top suggesting she leapt into the bushes.”
“How could she do that if there was a signpost in front of her?”
“Because it’s been ripped off, and very recently too. No wear marks on the stump. In fact, here’s one of the splinters.” He picked one off of the ground before throwing it away. The stump of the post was thin, suggesting that so was the post, making it easy to snap off.
“So now what do we do?” Booger asked. “We can’t tell which way to go!”
“We’ll have to make a choice. Left or right?”

What Bob said
A) Left
B) Right

B, and I have no idea why.

There's something I wonder about: how does Kipo manage to talk without stuttering, interrupting, or having her voice drop to a whisper or break off when she doesn't want it to happen? How does she manage to get the timing of the conversation right? From what you've said about her, it looks like she is fairly quiet, shy, and easily made nervous, which would *greatly* increase the incidence of these things, especially in an unfamiliar situation with a strange person, like that scene with Koise in the forest. Not to mention that her being on the spectrum naturally implies conversational difficulties like these.

However, from the way she talks, I got the impression that she must be really, REALLY calm, and probably speaks in an extremely slow, dreamy sort of manner. If I met such a person, I would probably think they were depressed, or at least a marked cyclothymic-subdepressive type who was vascillating somewhere on the brink of fullblown depression anyway. As far as I've gathered, this is not the way Kipo is.

It's difficult to judge, of course, because you don't give explicit descriptions of how she acts while talking, so one could possibly assume many things, but I just thought I would share my impression.

How come she doesn't give him a physics lecture?

I'm curious about Kipo more than anything else. She's not my type of person, though. And, most importantly perhaps, I still haven't managed to form any clearer picture of what she is like. So far I've seen only the most general traits that are common to many other shy people the world over, and the image they combine into is much too blurry, as it were, because it has no specific contour. She doesn't seem to be a unique person named Kipo; rather, she seems to be more of an abstract, generic "shy person on the autistic spectrum" who could basically be just anyone.

Even the most self-effacing people have one or two distinguishing traits which are instantly noticeable. They are like a sign by which one can recognize the person at once. Maybe you should try and find such traits in Kipo? It could be something really simple, like a small movement she makes, what her eyes look like and/or gaze direction, a consistent speech pattern etc. It's not necessary to go into long descriptions either; you don't have to paint a photographic landscape, a few distinct brush strokes is all that is needed.

Frankly, I'm a bit surprised that you chose such a stereotypical personality pattern for Kipo (shy, quiet, somewhat geeky, technically minded etc.). I understand that you like "Curious Incident" and have decided to base Kipo on Christopher, but the problem with Christopher is that he is also generic. He is not *the* Christopher. He is "the-generalized-image-of-a-boy-on-the-spectrum" who could be anybody. So that, if one decided to base a character on him, one would have to take great care to give the character enough individuality, and I'd expect it to be generally difficult on the whole. Not to mention that the whole personality pattern is associated with too many cliches, specifically when it comes to autistic people. It's somewhat surprising that you didn't opt for a more colorful personality, especially given that you seem to be a totally different type of person yourself, so one would expect her to be more similar to yourself.

This is just me, though.

Which is just a bit unnatural. She could at least like animals, as opposed to people.

Thanks for that ixochiyo_yohuallan (copy/paste), this helps a lot. In a way, this is what the fanfic is for, practising for my actual story so I can find flaws in characters and makes them as good as can be. Kipo likes animals, in fact she relates to them more than people, however I haven't written a scene for it yet. Given her and Koise's voted situation though, I can give them a scene for it easily once their back at normal size.

Kipo tends to appear calm because she can't relate well to serious situations that she doesn't consider important to her. She is fine around Koise because she as gotten used to him by now and he offers her protection from whatever comes at them next.

For me, Kipo's defining trait is her compulsion to say do not and can not and stuff as opposed to don't and can't. Funnily enough Kipo does have a defining trait with her eyes in a physical sense because she's an albino Renon. Usually Renon iris' are exactly like their pupils, giving the impression that they have one big pupil. However, Kipo's iris', with her being albino, are blue with a purple pearlescent sheen. The reason I haven't noted this is because I made this decision AFTER I described Kipo in the fanfic.

It's probably the way I write at the moment which has made Kipo seem very under described and vague, and this is due to my natural problem where if I know what the character is I assume that the reader does as well, so I need to learn to get past that.

Dear Writer,

Kipo thinks you are missing things. First, It would would help if you got a new hat, it was how she reconized you.

Kipo is not at all withdrawn, unaware, she just does not respond. Life is hard, school is worse, and the point of having friends is to be yourself, to ignore them. She does not have to be fake, like in class, she can be alone in a group. She is complete with her Dayol Cube. Like other creatures she seeks the protection of a flock, to keep watch, signal danger, and has wound up with some odd birds.

A group has many functions, Booger is looking for something to eat, or misunderstand. Bob is confused and getting better at it. Marylin sees meaning where there is none. Scyth is looking for something, anything, and will undergo risk and danger, to avoid boredom. It must mean something, somewhere. She and Marlyn have common goals, meaning and understanding, but very different ways of seeking it.

Koise is the fool. He is bright, observent, aware of the world around him, and still lacks the sense to avoid it. When hearing of Vampire Zombies with chainsaws, he wants to go take a look, and brings all his friends, we might have some fun, if we live. Kipo has relative fears, airhorns, school bells, water, losing her Dayol Cube, compared to which, Vampire Zombies with chainsaws are a minor annoyance.

The group offers her several things, it protects her from bullies, she is in a flock, too strange for bullies to deal with. They are so disorderly that she does not have to form a ritual to deal with them, like home, school, most of her life. She can sit with them without a load, so she enjoys their lack of company, she enjoys ignoring them. Only when they say, Kipo, which gives her fair warning, does she have to respond.

Most important is when an airhorn goes off an sends her into a panic attack, the flock stands around protecting her, and someone will talk her through. She does not need what they say, they cannot understand, but a voice keeps her mind focused, and keeps the attack from getting worse. It is really the only time she wants to deal with anyone. They are the lessor of two evils.

Koise is like her Dayol Cube, a puzzle to play with. He is a lot of parts, ever changing, and it would seem they should be connected, being in one body and all. Everytime she thinks she has found a link, the polarity reverses or something, and another facet of Koise shows. Where Marlyn is her's 100% when she is in trouble, looking for meaning through helping, then ignores her when things are going well, Koise comes to her in good times, opens himself to her, in asking questions. He does not want the answers she has, math and such, but asks questions she can half follow, she knows where she is going, he is just going.

It is as close as she gets to seeing how other people work. Booger is needs, seeking food, sleep, more food, and not noticing much else. Bob is confused, constantly overrun with input, living in a state of overload, that Kipo understands, but has the sense to withdraw from. Marilyn wants to be needed. She is directed by other peoples needs. When Koise leaves a message saying bring a cutting torch, ten pounds of explosives, a tent, 200 foot of rope, and some cookies to Bob's, she will be there, and apoligise for how long it takes to make cookie dough.

When Kipo melts down Marilyn is fully used, she is drawn to Kipo's need. Kipo sees good and bad, if airhorns vanished she would not miss them, and the same for Marilyn, she could do without both, if the whole world vanished, but she had her Dayol Cube, she would sit and play with it. Airhorns, school bells, and water do exist, so she takes the odd flock to go with it.

Where Koise is trying, which is leaping before you look, Scyth is acting when it is needed. She does not ask permission to respond, her only measure of herself is what she has survived. She seems bad tempered, but she is keeping from being distracted and staying ready for the next attack. One thing she knows, no matter what, there will be another attack. She will at least meet it head on even if it kills her. Attack if you will, but it won't be a freebe, a cheap shot, you will pay for the priviledge.

Scyth will take on dangerous roles, for the rest of the time she is looking behind every bush, checking foot prints, her ears straining, tensed and ready to strike, just to go out for some groceries. She would prefer conflict to paranoia. To her, Koise is a bird dog, flushing game. The first shot will be at him, giving her time to react.

Kipo finds some of her needs met by this strange flock. As they move through things she sees the important, what she and no other can read, finds the medalian, then disagres with it, about an idea of beauty, for that is what she thinks, and she tells the truth. As all of life in magical to her, magical moments are ordinary.

When she gets the deep and important knowledge from the medalion and reading, she does not mention it, for no one asked. All information is the same to her, and she thinks every one else sees the same. She does not understand what drives the rest, thinking it must be beyond her, because she has been told there were things she did not understand, and her parents would not lie to her, so it must be so. She thinks Booger, Bob, and the rest are functioning much higher than she can understand, and accepts it, just going along, because they invited her.

She does not understand their higher knowledge, but has come to accept herself. If they asked her simple question, like who build this place and why, she could answer. But they ask what she thinks of it, and she had not thought of it, she knew. So she would have to answer, nothing. She could explain it's function, like a Dayol Cube, and she does not think of the Dayol Cube, except where it is. They must have a very deep world, for they ask, What do you think of Gravity? She knows the cause, the math, but has never thought about Gravity it's self, where would you start? Define Gravity, she could recite a Physics book, solve any problem, but that is not the question they ask. They must be very smart to think about Gravity.

The group is very important to her. All the rest of her life is very structured. This is the unstructured world for her. She is happy to be with people she does not understand. Her tooth brush must face one direction, she has a ritual of squeezeing the tube, getting just the right amount of paste, and it upsets her if it not the same each time, all of her things have an exact place, and she lives the same way at the same time every day. If she had to hurry at school and stuck a paper in her binder, but not in the right place, she would be upset till she got home and could put it in the right place, then she would be upset that she got upset, and having lost some time, would be off on everything else, so she will both hurry and become more upset, then fear that she might make another mistake, and the fear would grow.

She would have put it in the right place but the teacher told her to take it and go, so she had to, and she does not do several things at once well. If she had tried to put it in the right place while walking, she might have fallen, she has to watch these things.

Being with the odd flock she is free to be herself most of the time. She becomes structured to their non-structure. She is not being creative, only responding, and they only ask questions, not tell her to do things. Everyone else in her life makes her do things, and she does, then they say it is not good enough. She agrees she is not good enough, and they ask her to be better. She tries.

The odd flock accepts her, watches over her, is there when she needs help, then ignores her. She wishes everyone would treat her that way. They ignore her, but they come find her, bring her to the group, then ignore her. She is sure they must be the smartest people on the planet. They are much too smart for her to understand, but they understand her completely.

The writer is like Koise, he does speak to her, and she answers, but she fails to understand. She likes things she does not understand, for if she did, they would have to have a ritual and remain the same forever. It is like people talking to her and ignoring her at the same time. Really smart people make her feel good. They accept her, do not make her change, she cannot understand enough to form a ritual of it. so she can just be, until someone says, "Kipo."

Wow... I can see why others see your writing as legendary Inventor! Tell me more! This has even me more insightful on the characters!