Tell a joke!

Post Reply New Topic

can you tell me what the puns were?

I might be misinterpreting what alexpetrans saw as a pun, but to me the pun was on the word "liked". The Social Network is a recently released movie about the origins of the Facebook website. "Liking" is an action you can do on Facebook to show your approval of something you see on the site. Facebook keeps a running tally of all the people who have "liked" something and posts it under the liked thing. So Asp-Z perhaps both enjoyed seeing the trailor for the Facebook movie and Liked it on the site itself. My joke was to use the same format for a running tally that Facebook itself uses (although 4 people have not yet actually even commented on it).

Boy did I just babble about that. I hope it makes a little sense to you. I assumed that you don't have a Facebook page because I am guessing that chit-chatting by text with all the people you know in real life is not something that interests you.

i am sorry i still do not know what the puns were. maybe what you said went over my head. i am very sorry that i am not smart enough to understand your explanation.

it does not mean that i think you can not communicate to me, but it means that i can not understand simple things of a certain nature.

I'm sorry I am being confusing. The simplest explanation is that it is a Facebook pun. If you are not a user of the Facebook website, that is why it didn't make sense.

It's a pun about social networks, like Facebook. When someone who is on Facebook receives a message from a friend (that message can be text, a picture, or a video clip), there is a button that says "Like". By clicking on that button, the receiver of the message lets his friends know that he likes the picture or video clip or whatever it is.

So the sentence "I liked it" can now be interpreted in two different ways: the first is the usual meaning (i.e., "I watched the movie trailer and found it enjoyable"); the second is the Facebook-related meaning ("I watched the movei trailer and clicked on the Like button").

Q-why did the psychic chicken cross the road?

A- to get away from the others' fried.

ok, boo hiss

what did the baby broom say to the mom broom
im sweepy!! !! !

what did the toilet paper say to the toothbrush?
"you think YOU got a dirty job?"

Extreme short term memory loss keeps me from creating a catalog of jokes in my head but I do remember this one.

Two cowboys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Who's in charge of a sperm bank? A w*k manager.

a blonde, wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing the neighborhood.

she went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"well, i guess i could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "how much will you charge me?"

the blonde quickly responded, "how about $500?"


the man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

the man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

he responded, "that's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

the wife replied, "you're right. i guess i'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes "

a short time later, the blonde handywoman came to the door to collect her money."you finished already?" the husband asked.

"yes," the blonde replied, "and i had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats
- no extra charge."

impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $500 and handed it to her.

"and by the way," the blonde added ... "it's not a porch -- it's an audi."

What's the difference between slow-roasted duck and John McCain?
One's tempered fowl and the other's foul-tempered.

How many millionairres does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None - they can hire people to do it for them.

How do you get a fat man into bed with you?
Piece of cake!

Why did the egg push his girlfriend off the wall?
He wanted to see her crack

Why did the gay man take pain-killers before having sex with his boyfriend?
So that sex wouldn't be a pain in the arse!

What annoys men about a pregnant woman?
They can't get too close to the sink and the cooker

Why don't little girls fart?
Because they don't get a***holes 'til they're married!

Three young boys saw a sign saying ''WALK THROUGH THE SEWERAGE AND SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP, THEN YOUR WISH WILL BE GRAUNTED''. The three boys were excited, so the first one went down and as he walked through the dirty smelly sewerage he said, ''a millionairre,'' and when he was grown-up he won the lottery. The second boy said, ''a celebrity,'' as he walked through, and when he grew up he was a famous celebrity. When the third boy walked through he said, ''poor!! !'' And he grew up a poor man.

A woman had a bladder infection, and was struggling to go wee, so she went to the doctors. The doctors examined her and said they needed to do an operation on her bladder to clean out the bladder. The woman said, ''no, I don't want that.'' When the doctor asked why not, she replied, ''I don't want anyone taking the piss out of me!''

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."