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Has a dog with very special needs.

Adopted a pet Komodo dragon last week, is starting to seriously regret it.

makes their bed using only their feet

Can see sounds and smell darkness. So how does darkness smell? The opposite of how light smells, obviously.

Can taste colors and hear smells, but only with the left pinky toe, whose name is Melvin.

Has serious conversations with spiderwebs.

Saw a rottweiler behind a fence.

Thought it would be funny to call it a shih tzu.

Then realised the fence had a hole in it.

And learnt never again to tease vicious dogs .

Is actually a sentient planet, the surface of which is covered largely in iron oxide. There is no water on the surface, or life. The star around which they orbit is a red dwarf. This causes the colour blue to be very rare, hence their longing for it. Wants a terraforming, but cannot afford it and it is not covered by gov't healthcare in that part of the universe. Likes Wrong Planet for the colour scheme.
Lives in a part of the universe where all the laws of physics are the same, apart from less entropy for students and pensioners, and that religious organisations and charities are gravity exempt.

Banishes those he dislikes to the cornfield.

Gives pedicures to wild Komoto Dragons on weekends.

Played for the NHL's Hartford Whalers in the mid-1908s.

Awwwww...

I just realized someone else mentioned Komoto Dragons. I thought I was being all original.

Takes silk dancing lessons in preparation for the coming apocalypse, which he or she insists will be caused by koala bears touting musical blow-darts.

Has pet silkworms which make her own clothes.

Wishes she could play for the Atlanta Braves.

Brings a shark cage to swim in the shallow end of the local community pool every Sunday.

Wears millipedes as earrings.