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Quatermass! what's up!!

EL GILSELLER! EL GILSELLER! EL BANO!

EL GILSELLER!! !!

Suck On That, b*****s!

So, I woke up yesterday morning and said to myself "Self, what would make us feel good today?"

And then, myself said "Hey, why don't we ban a whole bunch of ret*d people?"

So I said "You know what? That sounds like fun."

Okay... So maybe it wasn't me who made the final call. I have to let the guys upstairs feel like they get to make some of the decisions.

We were on the floor doing our usual shift work when our supervisor came in. This would not have been an unusual thing had it not been for the look in his eyes.

Correction: the glimmer in his eyes.

He looked like a kid on Christmas morning. I have not seen a look of such pure joy since the time Susan and I went to a hotel with a mirror on the ceiling.

Something was up.

Something big.

Supervisor>> Can I have your attention please?
Supervisor>> Can I...?
Supervisor>> Seriously. Shut the hell up!
[GM]Dave>> Hey, boss.
[GM]Dave>> What's going on?
Supervisor>> We're doing another account sweep and ban.
[GM]Dave>> That's it?
[GM]Dave>> What is it this time? 300 accounts?
[GM]Dave>> 400?
Supervisor>> A little bit higher.
[GM]Dave>> What? Like 500?
Supervisor>> You're close.
Supervisor>> 11,500 accounts.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I think I just wet myself.
Supervisor>> Yeah.
Supervisor>> We've been reviewing our legal options.
Supervisor>> Then we just decided to kick those b*****s off our servers.
[GM]Dave>> Sir, I hope this doesn't sound out of line.
[GM]Dave>> Can I hug you?

We went to work and the accounts started to fall like dominos. One after the other, ban, ban, ban.

Most of the GMs were doing standard permaban protocol. They'd go to the accounts details, remove the player from the server if necessary and then close and delete their accounts.

Not me.

I felt each and every one of them deserved a personal send off. You know, one final "you fail at life, ret*ds" before the door hits them on the way out.

Still, with 11,500 accounts to handle, I'd have to be quick.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> What begins with B and rhymes with Ban?
Player>> Umm...
Player>> Ban?
[GM]Dave>> If you insist.

And creative.

[GM]Dave>> Hola, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Como esta?
Player>> Uhhh... I don't understand.
[GM]Dave>> El Gilseller! El Gilseller!
[GM]Dave>> EL BANO! EL BANO!

And possibly a little insane.

[GM]Dave>> Do you have any gum?
Player>> No.
[GM]Dave>> BANNED!

By the end, I was running out of steam.

And jokes.

[GM]Dave>> Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Player>> I don't know.
[GM]Dave>> Cause he was BANNED!
Player>> ...
Player>> What?
[GM]Dave>> I have no idea.
[GM]Dave>> It made sense a minute ago.
[GM]Dave>> Whatever. You're banned.

When it was finally all over, I was mentally exhausted.

Still, when I sat back and looked upon the smoldering ruin that had been an RMT invasion, I couldn't help but smile a little.

We had taken back our servers, once and for all.

Well... Replace the word "all" with the words "a week."

Oh, shut up.

quater...

Quatermass...you are one crazy bird!

Do you know what Brownian motion is? That's what my brain is like, but with a little more direction.

So, slightly more orderly than the random motion of smoke particles cause by air molecules?

How are you this morning? I just got through cooking some potato pancakes. Do you know how difficult it is not to eat while you cook?

*wins*

Night all.

Depends on what you are cooking.

I don't cook crap.