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Matrix... http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20040521

lol that's so funny. It's amazing how many usernames they made out of Neo and the one.

Back to Business

Okay, that didn't happen.

It didn't.

Let's move on.

So, this morning I was doing my usual server maintenance (read: turning servers on and off at random), when I got a GM call from a player.

A player named Sefferoth.

GM Call Description: I'm too stupid to live. Feed me to a dragon.

Okay, so that's not exactly what it said. But with a name like that, he was practically asking for it.

Suddenly, I was struck by an idea, an epiphany. Suddenly, a marvelous, beautiful, terrible thing laid itself out before my mind.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

I did a quick server search, selected the appropriate players and warped them all to Mordion Gaol.

*warpaga*

And there they stood, a legion of morons with Sephiroth rip off names. A legion of players with a base IQ just above that of a cheese sandwich.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurers.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you 're all too stupid to come up with your own name.
[GM]Dave>> We're not sure if this is due to naturally low IQ
[GM]Dave>> Or being dropped as a child.
[GM]Dave>> Results are pending.
[GM]Dave>> Does anyone have any questions?
Seppiroth>> Why are we all here?

Jormungand hits Seppiroth for 9,693 points of damage.
Seppiroth was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Any more questions?
[GM]Dave>> Anybody?
Sefirot>> You can't do this!

Jormungand hits Sefirot for 8,751 points of damage.
Sefirot was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Anybody else?
Seppheroth>> That wasn't a question.

Jormungand hits Seppheroth for 9,226 points of damage.
Seppheroth was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Neither was that.
[GM]Dave>> Any more questions?

*silence*

[GM]Dave>> Good.
[GM]Dave>> Alright, you are all about to take part in a new event.
[GM]Dave>> One of you has been given an "S" Egg item.
[GM]Dave>> You have also all been set to PvP.
[GM]Dave>> Whoever has the "S" Egg at the end, gets to keep their name.
[GM]Dave>> Everyone else gets their character deleted.

I wonder how stupid these people really are.

[GM]Dave>> Are there any questions?
Sseferroth>> So all we do is find the egg?

Jormungand hits Sseferroth for 9,148 points of damage.
Sseferroth was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> So... no questions, I assume.
[GM]Dave>> Good. Go.

After that, Mordion Gaol became complete anarchy. N00bs killing n00bs. Abbreviations and misspellings gave way to screams of pain.

I almost cried it was so beautiful.

I really should have given one of those idiots an "S" Egg.

So, I left them to their little event and warped to the next Mordion Gaol room.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurers.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you 're all too stupid to come up with your own name.
[GM]Dave>> Are there any questions?
Clowd>> Why are we all here?

Damn, I love this job some days.

Okay, here it is: