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Two men walked into a bar. Ouch.

"paddy" and his wife are lying in bed listening to the neighbour's dog barking.

it had been barking for hours when suddenly, "paddy" jumps out of bed muttering to himself, and runs downstairs.

about 20 minutes later, paddy returns.
his wife says: "paddy... the bloody dog is still barking! what have you been doing?"

paddy: "i put the dog in our yard. now lets see how THEY like it!"

Why did the rooster cross the road?

It was the chicken's day off.