The Really Bad Advice Thread

Post Reply New Topic

Next time you're stopped by a traffic officer, tell him not to write up a citation because the world needs to save paper and that by writing a ticket he's contributing to global warming.

When there is a bad smell (such as BO/fart etc) in a confined space (such as an elevator), you should tell everyone there that you forgive whoever is making that smell. Everyone will think you are a very forgiving person.

Always talk to the elderly like you would a five-year-old. They love that!

If your computer has frozen, pour some hot chocolate onto your keyboard to warm it up.
And don't forget the marshmallows.

Always tell people they're boring and/or annoying you with their conversation. They will gladly change topics for you.

Give your smile an extra sparkle by adding some glitter to your next spinach pasty filling.

If you computer is running hot, it might be full of dust.
Run a bath of warm water, and then leave your computer soaking in it overnight.
Or you can use a high pressure hose if you remove some of the blanking plates at the back.

If you find hairspray too expensive, use fly-spray, works just as well.

Contrary to popular belief, everything is machine washable.

If you have to make a really big cake, mix it in the washing machine.

Better still if you can get a concrete mixer.

Why not the toilet?

Always eat as much as you possibly can.

Toilets are gateways to parallel universes. You can prove this by sticking your head in one.

If you are going to a crowded occasion, always eat a lot of garlic beforehand to protect yourself from possible vampires .

Don't use your seat belt (in airplane or car) so it doesn't trap you in case of a wreck.

Operate steering wheels with your face.